Just to say...

Well it's super late in the day. My co-worker friend is on vacation today and Monday which leaves me with both of our jobs and it's hectic as hell as it is. So I have just now gotten a moment to take a breath and write a little sumthin' sumthin'.

So what's going on in my life: Well let's see, I SUCK at sticking to anything I say I am going to do. That's one thing but then again that's been going on for a while now (11 years).

Just curious...have any of you been watching that show called "What's Eating Me?" or possibly "What's eating you?" on satellite/cable? It's about people with eating disorders and it's soooo very upsetting to me. Last night there was a woman who has been banded and has now gone from an overeater to a bulimic. She binges and purges like 10 times a day. How awful! And she is still very obese. It's crazy how obsessed you become. Sometimes I am surprised that I haven't traveled to those limits and become bulimic or anorexic. I never could bring myself to throw up. I tried when I was younger out of curiousity but it's very hard to make myself get sick. Of course this lady is using her lap band as her finger. Scary...I definitely have gotten the binging down though.

Why? Why does this shit have to be so difficult. I just can't wrap my mind around it. Feel free to send me a cyber-slap!

My brother is a freshman in high school and he just got put on the Varsity football team because he is that good! So I am going to his first varsity game tonight and am so excited for him! I am going to take pictures amap and I will post them on Monday.

Last night was my little sister's choir concert and I went to that and really enjoyed it. They sang all those corny songs they choose in school but I was still so proud of her. I find that even staying busy like I have been, I still somehow squeeze in crappy food or overeat and wham! no movement on the scale!

Anyhoo....I am outta here for now. Have a great weekend everyone!

My sweet little Fancy!

I just couldn't resist sharing with you some fall/Halloween photos I took of my baby chichi, Fancy. She is 4 years old and this year she was a ghost for Halloween. She hates dress up so I only put her clothes on her long enough to take some pics and then I strip her down! Haha. I added some frames to gussie them up. Prepare to say "Awwww" several times because she is cute as a button!

See the little ghost on her sweater? :)

When she lays on her back she gets sleepy! 

She liked her little scarecrow buddy.

In other news, I was BAD again last night. And yes I mean BAD! I went grocery shopping and I think I may have left my brain on the conveyor belt because I bought a rather large box of Russel Stovers fine chocolates (you know the ones filled with all different kinds of delicious things) and I ate 3 of them as soon as I got in the car. It was already 7pm and I was starving by then because I ate lunch at 11am. So that was my own fault for not eating a snack in between. Hell it's ALL my fault but that's life. I also bought chocolate chip cookie dough. I LOVE to bake things but I usually only eat 1 or 2 of them and give the rest away to friends at work and the hubby. Weird huh?

So for dinner last night I bought a frozen pizza to bake in the oven. I always get myself the super thin crust pizzas. I found this brand that specializes in original flavors and this one caught my eye because it had pepperoni and large chunks/slices of fresh mozarella cheese. It looked heavenly. So I baked it.....and ate HALF of it. It was a medium, but still! I think that's about 3 large slices. I had pain over and over while eating it. I have been getting stuck alot lately thanks to this rainy weather and my sinuses. Damn drainage!!! I just took my time though. Later I opened the box of chocolates again and I ate half of almost every piece. More of a taste tasting, if you will. I saved the rest for the hubby. I ate one of the chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven and it was divine. So needless to say I was AWFUL, just awful last night. But I am trying to iron out that kink by doing good today.

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: hot green tea, fv coffeemate powder, 1 splenda. Greek yogurt with honey and walnuts

Lunch: 1 packet of starkist tuna, 1 tbsp of hellman's mayo, and about 8 sea salt melba snack crackers

Snack: Honest Ade Pomegranate Blue organic juice. (YUM and I am trying to ween myself off of Dr. Peppers and I am already getting a caffeine w/d headache)

Dinner: pureed broccoli and cheese (basically soup but less calories) and baked buffalo wings (4)

Calories: 994 calories

No more candy every day, etc etc etc. I really need to buckle down on myself and do this thing!

Halloween photos:

Well as I promised I am posting some freaky photos from the haunted house we did on Friday and Saturday night. It was an absolute blast!!! And it was quite successful. We had a pretty decent crowd for our first go round for this fire dept. and a pretty good review. A friend of mine said they went to 3 different haunted houses on Saturday night and that ours was, by far, the best and most scary. I am very proud of that. And although I was absolutely terrible over the weekend with eating no real meals and only having candy, cupcakes and cookies and the worst of all, Dr. Pepper here and there throughout the days I still managed to lose 2 lbs. I guess I burned calories staying busy.

Duh dun dun:

Me as a creepy witch! I did this with a nifty little app. on my iphone!

Mary, Me, and Cayla on Friday night

Two guys that acted in the haunted house: The first one was an escapee from an insane asylum and the second was a mummy.

My friend Jessica and me. She was a kitty cat and I was supposed to be a dead seductress.

Here we are again on Saturday night: I went all out with my makeup that night and tried to look as dead as possible!!! haha

That's it for now!

Portions and calories, Need advice!!!

Ok. so this is a quickie. I have probably skated around this question before but I need some opinions.  Hopefully I can make sense of it all while writing it. It's hard picking out logical ideas from this here head! haha

So here's the thing...which is better or should I say more prone to weight loss:

A. Eating smaller portions of not mindblowingly semi healthy foods

OR

B. Eating larger portions of super healthy food

For example.... a small cup of broccoli and cheese soup for say, lunch  OR 3oz of meat and a green vegetable for lunch.

The point I am trying to get to is I know that counting calories works. But I find my counting calories method and my counting carbs method keep clashing in my daily thinking. It's like I keep trying to count calories and carbs at the same time and that makes me bored because then the only foods I have left are basically meats and veggies. I get B for bored when that's all I eat and I end up straying from any kind of plan all together and gaining again.

I read something in a magazine the other day about some trial study they did a while back to test that limiting calories does produce weight loss. They did a survey on some people and alot of them said even when they stick to a 1200 calorie a day plan they still don't lose weight. And the doctor said if you stuck those people in a room and gave them 1200 calories a day they would lose weight without a doubt and that the problem is people don't realize how much extra calories they are really consuming daily. That people lack the ability to recognize calories or estimate them.

I think this is me. I count calories and I SWEAR I can eat my daily target to lose so many ounces a day and I still don't lose. I don't get it. That leads me to thinking well I will have to count carbs too because it has to be the carbs that are keeping the weight on, right???? I don't know!!!! WHAT IS IT???????

I read blogs daily and so many times some of you provide your daily menu and it seems like some of you eat so very little. I just read on one that she only brought a couple of protein bars to work and a piece of fruit and that she would probably not eat lunch at all. HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT?????

I keep telling myself that all I have to do is eater smaller portions of high calorie foods and decent portions of low calorie foods and I will lose but it just isn't happening. Like some of you can just have that one little cup of soup for lunch and think well I stayed within a good amount of calories but in my head that seems unhealthy to only have some soup for lunch (even though I ate less than that on the pre-op diet). I just can't bring myself to eat less because I am afraid I am not eating enough but compared to some of you I am eating like a frickin cow!!!!

Does this all make sense? I know I am babbling but I really need as many opinions as possible. Maybe you can just tell me in short detail the rules you follow with eating.

Wow, this isn't short at all....oops! :)

Finally a chance to blog!!!

I haven't been around since last Thursday because work has been CRAZY! Just non-stop crap and my friend that I work with and I have been planning a haunted house for over a month now for the Volunteer Fire Dept in our town. Her dad is the asst. chief and put her in charge of creating a haunted house at the station and she asked me to team up with her to create this "masterpiece of fright". So we have been planning and planning and planning and along with coming up with all of the scenes and themes with her I also had to draw the blueprint/layout of the house for the fire team to build on and I created the flyers and the layout for the giant banner and signs and now I must make the signs for entrance and exit etc. VERY BUSY! I am also going to be an actress in the house. My room is the cemetary and I will be in a coffin covered with spiders and other creepy crawlies. It should be interesting. I am going to get plenty of pictures this weekend and will be posting them after!

Here are some pictures from over the weekend that I promised. In my last post I told everyone that I was going to my little brother's football game for his birthday.

He is number 32! So proud of him. They won the game 26:6!

Here I am the next day at my Mom's house. My sister fixed my hair so I snapped a shot of it.

Here is the dirt cake I made for Jusin. I spelled his name in neon gummy worms.

He LOVED it!

Update on weight: Well this is no excuse but the bank where I work has always carried Ozarka water bottles for employees to drink. All of a sudden last week they changed venders and ordered some nasty offbrand water. Well my husband works in a chemical plant and has told me numerous times about our local brand water that actually comes from runoff water from ditches, sewer systems, etc. that they filter several times and then bottle for selling. And guess what??? This was one of those brands. So I haven't been drinking water...at all at work and only about 1 bottle at home. And I have realized something....I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT ANYMORE...without drinking water! So what did I replace water at work with? A Dr. Pepper a day! Yes, so now I am re-addicted to DP. GREAT! One more addiction I have to get past. So I broke down yesterday and got a 24 pack of Ozarka from the store and am keeping it at work until they start stocking Ozarka again.

Because of this lack of water and realizing that I can't lose without it I kind of strayed a bit on trying to count calories because I felt that it was pointless since I wasn't drinking my water every day. (What a lame excuse!) It hasn't been too bad but I haven't been making the wisest food choices. Like the other night I ate like 5 oreo cookies for dinner because I didn't feel like a regular meal. Then last night I ate a HUGE and I mean bigger than my hubby's foot huge, sandwich from Quiznos. And yeah it was wheat bread and turkey and veggies but the portion size was massive and it took me a good 3 hours to do it but I ate the whole damn thing!!!! haha... I am getting back on track today now that I got my water.

Daily menu:

Breakfast: Hot chai tea with french vanilla powder and 1 splenda. Peach greek yogurt with 1 tbsp walnuts

Lunch: 3 oz of eye of round super thin steaks sliced up and mixed into an asian medley steamed veggie blend (carrott, baby corn, broccoli, and water chesnuts) and some soy sauce.

Snack: 1 tangerine and a handful of blazing buffalo almonds

Dinner: Taco-less taco salad: lean ground hamburger meat with diced tomato, shredded cheese, lettuce and jalapenos...yum!

Haven't really been going to the gym because I have been so busy after work with shopping for the haunted house but I am going to jump right back in it after it's all over and done with!!!

Well that was a mouthful! Hope I didn't bore you all to death with my rambling...haha

Am I ready for some football?

Well, today is my little brother Justin's 16th birthday. WOW! I feel OLD! I am 8 years older than him! So he is a JV football player in highschool. One of the stars of the football team really. He and my other brother, Danny (17) have played football since they were toddlers so they are both really good. Anyway, I am not much for sports. I never have been. My idea of an interesting sport is ice skating. My mom and stepdad are die-hard football fans. Every Sunday they BBQ and watch football all day long. I am sorry but to me, that is B for boring. (no offense to you sports fans) All my brother wants from me for his bday is to come to his football game tonight and to make him dirt cake for this weekend. So I think I can handle that. I will get pictures tonight and put them up tomorrow!!! :)

Anywayz....so I did go grocery shopping last night and spent way too much money. But I got plenty of healthy foods to cook so that's a plus. I ended up eating a Michael Angelo's vegetable lasagna last night. The individual serving has cheese, squash, zuchinni, carrotts, brocolli and cauliflower. VERY good and only about 350 calories. Not too bad for an entire meal. I also baked banana nut muffins last night and had one right out of the oven for dessert (120 calories). I stayed under my calorie target by 500 calories so I went ahead and lost those pesky 2lbs I gained the other day. But I am still stuck at 182.4lbs. It seems like I have been at that exact weight a hundred times. If I gain a little and then lose again it will be that weight! FREAKY! I can't wait to break out of the 180's for good. Once I am out I will never go back again like I did last time. I WON'T!!!!!

Today's menu:

Breakfast: Hot green tea, vanilla cm powder, and 1 splenda. Blueberry greek yogurt and 2 tbsp of walnuts
Lunch: Hartz chicken but I was really good and ordered a baked chicken breast, skin removed (ate 1/3 of it), corn (about 3 tbsp), cabbage (about 3 tbsp). the meal came with a roll and I literally ate a tiny pinch off of it, barely one bite, and then gave it away. We also had banana pudding but it was yukky so I didn't eat but one tiny bite of it.
Snack: a tangerine and a few smokehouse jalapeno almonds
Dinner: a small salad with romaine lettuce, 1/2 avocado, 1 small roma tomato, and 2 tbsp ranch dressing. 1/2 cup of baked beans and angus beef sausage. YUMMY...can't wait for dinner!
Dessert: probably a banana nut muffin (maybe)

I won't be able to work out AGAIN tonight (seems like I have an excuse every day) because I have to go home and cook dinner and then get up to my bro's game. But I think I might do some runs up and down the bleachers throughout it just to burn up some calories. hehehe We will see tomorrow if I had a loss at all.
*Fingers crossed*

P.S. I hope I am not boring everyone with my daily menu. I know that when I read blogs I love it when people post what they eat every day. It's interesting to see what people who are losing consistently are eating. I hope that I fall into the "losing consistently" category soon!

Fried wha????

Ok so if you read my post from yesterday I said I was going to a fair last night and intended on having an array of yumminess. So I get there and guess what???? NO FRIED OREOS???? Very bummed about that. I was starving and decided to eat crawfish etoufee for dinner. Yum-mmmmy. So I ate about a cup of etoufee, waited 30 minutes and went hunting for my oreos. No luck so I settled for a fried hostess cupcake. It was pretty tasty but didn't compare to my oreos. Aww well it will do. I thought I'd share an interesting fact about some fair food I investigated yesterday.

Crawfish etoufee (1 serving)= 435 calories
Red beans, rice, and sausage (1 serving)= 2,691 calories!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that????? I was in shock. I have eaten this sometimes at the fair in past years and my jaw hit the floor when I saw these numbers. I was trying to decide if I wanted to eat etoufee or this and obviously I went for the the fairer food! haha WOW! Oh and btw I am like huh on the whole fried butter thing ya'll commented about. That's crazy!!! Wow. That's definitely a heart attack packed in batter! But knowing me I would try it once and love it and then strokeville here I come. Also chocolate bacon does sound yum. I could see how the sweet, fat, and salt would be lovely together! Oh my gosh!

Anyway so after all of this last night I got home and around 10:30pm I felt like I was starving. (I ate all the afore mentioned food at 5:30pm) It had been five hours since dinnner so I wanted at least a little snack. I don't usually go to bed until 12 or 1am so I have time to digest anyway. I need to go grocery shopping so there was not very many choices for a snack unless I wanted to eat corn in a can so I decided I would just bake a Digiorno stuffed crust pizza and eat a tiny slice and give the hubby the leftovers for his lunch today. Well I tried that tiny slice and it was soooo damn delicious I devoured the other half of that slice and ended up eating 2 slices of pizza (330 calories a slice!!!) YEAH! I went over my calorie target by like 600 calories and needless to say I paid for it this morning on the scale when I managed to gain 2.2lbs overnight!!!!!! DAMN IT! Aww well back on the boat today and doing well.

Today's menu:

Breakfast: Hot green tea, french vanilla powder, 1 splenda. Pineapple greek yogurt and slivered almonds.
Lunch: grilled chicken and 2 grilled garlic shrimp and about 1/2 cup of steamed garden veggies (squash, zucchini, plum tomatoes, and carrotts)
Snack: Atkins protein shake (chocolate)
Dinner: Not sure yet. Going grocery shopping and will figure it out then but whatever it is will be good!!!!


TTFN everyone!