Where did funny go???

For some odd reason I decided today to go back to the beginning of my blog (January 2010), which seems like a century ago and read some of my old posts and you know what I realized?

I used to be funny....in a sarcastic, cheesy kinda way but still...funny.

I feel like maybe I have lost that a bit over the past year. Sad? Me thinks so. I also realized that my posts from now compared to then have a similar theme/ring to them which would be "NEVER MASTERING THE LOW CARB WORLD". Seriously...if you are ever bored and would like to be even MORE bored.....just travel back to some of my early posts and you'll see it's literally like a broken record. haha! Also, I realized that I type far too fast because I found so many grammar errors it was ridiculous. Hell, I've probably made some in this post already!

Anyway...I found one post in particular that actually had me laughing a little and figured I would re-post it since I don't have any interesting tid bits to share lately. This is just a piece of it. All of this stuff still "irks" me BTW. haha



 I have decided to devise a list of things that irk me. Things that probably wouldn't irk most people and I am trying to decide if I have some kind of mental problem or if I am just a mega-bitch. You tell me. (sigh)



1. The annoying sound of the teller sorting her mail near my desk. I can hear each piece of mail brush the table as they seperate the different kinds of deposits and stuff. IRK!


2. People constantly using the back office bathroom just because it's in a vault! Look people, use the big bathroom! Got news, your poopy is no secret seeing as you just locked yourself in a 3x3 room and took a number 2 and there's a line out of the door waiting for you to come out!!!! No secret you stink!


3. People who constantly ask me "Is it Friday yet?" all week long, all year long. No it's not Friday and here's a tip for ya, if you hate your job that much, get a new one!


4. My peach fuzz on my stomach has gotten darker since surgery so either I am turning into a he-she or I am the new Casper the friendly freakin ghost???


5. Jaw popping gum! No not smacking but popping like some people can chew gum and they make it pop while in their mouth on their teeth! Nails on a chalkboard to my ears! Stop that shit!


6. When someone you work with is on vacation or out sick and everyone and their momma keeps asking YOU if you have heard from them and how they are doing like you keep a journal of their every move! WTH? I don't live with em' people! Quit asking! Or better yet, here's the phone number figure it out!


7. When taco bell goes down totally smooth and I feel like I gained 10lbs in a day.


8. When my toenail polish flakes off of 3 different toes. I hate painting my toenails!


9. When the same damn people ask me every other day, "So how much have you lost?" seriously??? Ya just asked me that yesterday! Do ya think I will melt away overnight chicken head? (that was mean, but damn it IRKS me)


10. And FINALLY, driving! If I had a bazooka I would blow people on the road away (does that sound dirty? hmm). I say all the time I need my own highway named after me that only I can drive on and the world would be a better place! :)

The END.

I am going on my trip to New Braunfels tomorrow to scrape my ass on rocks  float on the river. We rented campers for the weekend and will be drinking and having a good ol' time. So expect some picture posts soon (assuming I don't look like a beached whale in them).

Have a great weekend everyone, and oh yeah, thanks for the comments on the bikini post. Appreciate it!

Smooches peeps!

Where's my bikini????

Ahh THERE IT IS!!!! LMAO! I don't know what happened to my photo yesterday....probably karma!

Let's try this again!

Oh yeah, and please excuse the squished boobs...Like I said yesterday, it is an extra large but in KIDS meaning boobless! haha

Anyhoo...I wish I could stay longer and chit chat. Thanks for all of your belated bday wishes!!!! Oh and you are totally right, DRAZ, I should ask Jenny to make me a kick ass header! That would be awesome! :)


Smooches boo boo's!

The Big 25 and some pics!

Hi peeps!

Ok so Monday the 13th was my 25th birthday....(shhh...don't tell anyone ok?) I had a wonderful weekend filled with lots of activities. Sunday, my friends, the hubby, and me all went to the Kemah boardwalk and ate lunch at T-Bone Tom's (featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives one time) and then on to the Aquarium. For those of you who may not know....I LOVE FISH...err...as PETS not food! I so enjoy going and seeing all the beatiful fish and we got to feed the stingrays again this year. They are like puppies when you have food! Monday, the BFF and I took off of work and had lunch with my mom and a few of my sisters at my favorite Mexican restaurant and before hand the BFF bought her and I a trip to the dry sauna at our tanning salon and we sweated our asses off for a good 40 minutes in that thing. I could NEVER live in the desert.....NEVER!

Here are a few photos:

The BFF paid to have a caricature done of us as a bday gift...I love it!

One of the pictures I took at the Aquarium

Another Aquarium picture. Isn't it awesome? They are so pretty.



This is a bikini I bought on Saturday to possibly wear to
the river trip next weekend.  What's funny is that I felt like
it was a bit tight and when I looked at the tag after I took it off
I realized that it was an extra large...in KIDS! hahaha

I'm not sure how I manage to pose like that every time. It's like I have the unconcious know how of sticking that one leg out and sucking in like no other!!!! hahahaha I sure have not lost weight lately....more the opposite but I am taking a wise man's advice and going "back to the beginning" and starting this journey over again as if I am pre-op again. It's funny because I have only had protein shakes today and plenty of water but I am not hungry. I am very surprised. A little rumble in the tummy but that's about it. CRAZY! Hopefully this can get me back to a good place mentally with the band. We shall see!

Ok...gotta fly now...still gotta catch up on my post reading! TTFN!



playing along...

I figured I would steal this from Holly at Plush Belle. It looked interesting enough! haha

ABC's of Food (surprise!)

A-Apple- What is your favorite?  Apples are my least favorite fruit but I would say pink lady is the best.
B-Bread- Regardless of calories or nutrition, what would you like to have a big slice of? Ciabatta roll with fonduta (YUM!)

C-Cereal- What is your favorite? Fruity pebbles...I won't even buy a box anymore because I will eat the whole thing in one day.
D-Doughnut-What kind is your favorite? I really don't care for donuts at all but I would say either a plain glazed or a creme filled
E-Eggs- How do you like yours prepared? Scrambled if it's a whole egg, fried if it's egg whites only.
F-Fat Free- What is your favorite product? Water? haha
G-Groceries- Where do you purchase yours at? Walmart mostly..sometimes local stores
H-Hot beverages- Favorite? Green tea with sugar and french vanilla coffeemate! YUMMO!
I-Ice Cream- Favorite? Never been a fan of ice cream either (how did I get fat???) but if I had to choose I'd say rainbow sherbert

J-Jam or Jelly- Do you eat them? If so what kinds? I USED to eat them. I love strawberry jam and grape jelly
K-Kashi- Do you purchase their products, if so which ones? Yes, and I like the grain and fruit bars

L-Lunch- What was yours today? Chicken Diablo at a local Mexican restaurant. It is a piece of chicken fajita, mexican cheese, and fresh jalapeno wrapped in a slice of bacon served on a bed of lettuce. DELISH!

M-Microwave- What is your favorite microwaved meal or snack? Michael Angelo's Cheese Lasagna!

N-Nutrients- Do you like carbs, fats, or proteins the most? DUH! Carbs!

O-Oil-What kind do you use? Olive oil

P-Protein-How do you get yours? Sometimes from protein bars, chicken, pork, beef, and some soy

Q-Quaker-How do you like your oats? With some butter and brown sugar and a few strawberries or blueberries

R-Roasting-What is your favorite food to roast? Beef haha

S-Sandwich- Favorite? Quiznos oven roasted turkey breast with cheddar, tomato, pickle, mayo and southwest chipotle sauce!

T-Travel- How do you handle eating while traveling? I go crazy and eat just about any damn thing I want. Sad, I know.

U-Unique- What is your strangest food combination? plain raw pickles dipped in ranch dressing with saltine crackers (it's a tradition my friend at work and I do almost every Friday)

V-Vitamins-What kind do you take? BAD! I haven't been taking vitamins but when I do I take them I do the chewy flinstones ones, calcium chews, and B12 sublinguals

W-Water-How much do you drink a day? About 80oz on good days

X- X-Ray- If we did a tummy x-ray what foods would we see? Umm...my lunch and I ate scrambled eggs, one sausage patty, and some watermelon for breakfast! I love watermelon!

Y-Youth- What food reminds you of your youth? Spaghetti pie and potato salad and hot water cornbread make me think of my Granny. I loved it when she cooked that stuff. She was a great cook.

Z-Zucchini- How do you prepare it? Steamed or sauteed in a stir-fry! yumm!

Well that was fun! Took longer than I expected but still fun!

As far as updates go...I still can't comment on blogs!!! I am getting stupid pissed about that! On me? Well I am still working on me day by day.

Have a good weekend.

La dee da!

I figured I would try to post. Perfect timing since blogland is in an uproar from all it's technical difficulties that have been occurring. I have been keeping up on reading but can't comment half of the time so know this, I still love you guys and am trying to let you know this but blogger won't allow it!

Now for an update. I know everyone is dying to know if I'm at goal yet....I mean I must be...it's been long enough hasn't it? Well NOT even close!!! haha in fact I am stuck in quick sand as we speak drowning in seas of lard and yogurt butter with a touch of granola on top. Yup that's me. I have literally gone from carb counting, to calorie counting, now I am thinking about going paleo again like I used to. I AM LOSING IT FOLKS! Certainly, losing it (and I don't mean lbs either).

On a side note: This really has absolutely nothing to do with anything but I thought I'd mention it anyway since I'm doing so great at blubbering so far. I look at my cell earlier and I had a missed call and voicemail from a strange unknown number. I call it back to see what it is and it's a weight loss surgery center in San Antonio asking me if I ever got surgery. Apparently I had called them back in 2009 to price the lapband at that location. HA! Here's how that went:

Woman: Did you ever have a surgery?

Me: Yes, in Feb 2010 in Houston.

Woman: What did you have done?

Me: Lapband.

Woman: And how has that worked out for you

Me: Pause....Pause...longer pause.... It's worked out ok. (Instantly feeling I should play UP the band and make it sound like my results have been marvelous even though they haven't thanks to my head)

Woman: Oh? (in a tone suggesting she would like more than just "OK")

Me: Pause again....I mean I've done fairly well with it. (like being punched in the gut with guilt for lying)

Woman: Have you been following up with your aftercare as far as adjustments go?

Me: Yes......I am in a good place right now. (Not really. I mean I don't need a fill because I am still a little tight and get stuck out of the blue on a daily basis. BUT I think another unfill would leave me ravenous.)

Woman: Well congrats on following through with the surgery and I am glad it worked out for you!

Me: Thanks alot!

Click...


Instantly I thought Oh my gosh, I wonder if they would revise the band for free???? hahahahaha yeah right! Now I know some of you are probably screaming at your monitors right now, "oh you crazy beotch! How you gonna talk smack about the band???" First of all, I am not blaming the band by any means for me not losing. I honestly feel that the weight I have lost (technically 16lbs now that I have gained some back from my lowest) was ALL ME. It didn't have much to do with the band. I know this, because I did it before the band. I have yet to break my lowest low of 169lbs that I got to a few years ago when I did the South Beach Diet for 3 months. In 2 months I had lost 20lbs back then and got down to 169lbs and gained it all back, of course. I haven't seen that number with the band. I think my lowest with the band was 174lbs and that lasted for like a second.

I think my head is too much of a problem still. I don't know if it will ever allow me to truly use the band as the tool it's meant to be. No, this isn't just a phase I am going through because I am discouraged. I have felt this way for a while but was in denial. I didn't want to admit that I basically threw $12,000 down the drain by getting a surgery that EVERYONE close to me told me I shouldn't get. They said that I could do it on my own and I just KNEW without a doubt that the lapband was the answer to doing it. But I think I was wrong. I should've known that I needed to fix my head first. I feel like I am back at square one trying a different diet every other day, obsessed with reading weight loss stories, magazines, books, etc all over again like I used to do. It's like I don't even have the band. And to top things off I think my metabolism is shot for now. It seems that even if I make an effort for a week or so the scale doesn't respond...AT ALL. I think that's why I long for that "new miracle diet" to pop up still to maybe jump start me. I know one thing, I am tired of this cycle.

Anyhoo...it's only taken me like 2 hours to write this with all the interruptions at work. So I will sign off by saying....Too-daloo friends!

10 days since last confession...

Well, yes, I am still around. I have been trying to keep up with everyone's posts. I must admit I have lost interest in posting for myself just because I don't have any good news to share on the weight loss front. And because of that I feel like there's not many topics I can visit without feeling like a loser. (not fishing for compliments, just stating the facts)

I have been going up and down on the scale (mostly up) and managed to gain back 14lbs from my lowest of 175lbs. You do the math and that's where I've been sitting now for the last week or two. I ATTEMPTED for the last month...or two... to start the Primal diet, the South Beach diet, the Atkins diet (see the low carb trend here?) and had an excuse every day of why I couldn't whether it be not having money at the moment to buy the RIGHT groceries from the food list to not feeling it's the right time because of too many events on my calendar. So when I did have the money I would still buy junk, when I did buy the RIGHT foods I still didn't eat it (no time to cook was the excuse on that one). And when I did attempt to eat the right stuff I would make it to dinner and then go crazy and eat like a maniac. Sooo...

I hate to have to admit it for the millionth  time, but low-carb just isn't for me. I just can't do it. I know some of you have had great success so far and I am sure I could too if I tortured myself to get through it for a while but I know, without a doubt, that I could never stick to it for the rest of my life and that would just lead to a regain plus more once I quit doing it. So I have gone back to the roots of weight loss, the science which is...

calories in vs. calories out

Honestly, this is just the only way I think I can survive. I MUST count calories. It's the only way I can feel less deprived and less psycho about losing. That's what was working for me when I hit my lowest a few months ago and  it can be slow-moving but it's what works. It's one method that's been around forever and has been proven to work many times over.  My vice is hitting a plateau and giving up all hope within a few days of it. That's my problemo. The halt. The end. The dreaded plateau. I must learn to push through it. I have to get to where even if the scale stops moving for a while I still hit the ground running. I need to be less obsessed with the numbers and more watchful of the inches and how my clothes are fitting.

I must do something because it has been scary the last few weeks watching the scale climb up rapidly. I could feel myself losing control and literally see myself swelling up back to the size I started at. Sad process, that's for sure. I have been watching my eating for the last few days and lost a couple of lbs but who knows how accurate that is after all my binging for the last weeks. And because of my eating I stopped weighing regularly because of course I didn't want to see what I weighed because I knew it went up. Classic.

(brief pause because I got busy at work)

It is truly so messed up at how lazy I am. I am sitting here eating a Chobani yogurt and a few almonds and can't help but thinking 'gah, I dread having to be committed to a program'. How unbelievably lazy is this???
I dread having to watch what I eat and plug in food to a calorie counter 3 times a day, and I hate knowing that if I want results I have to go home and exercise. Why can't I enjoy the process damn it??? Why can't I just be grateful that I have been blessed with a body that is able to change if I let it? Nope, instead I want to be lazy and stuff myself to the brim and then whine when my body is overrun by fat? Looney tunes, that's what that is.

Ok. I'm done rambling....for today anyway.

Pills?

Anyone having to use appetite suppressants plus the band?????? hahaha


Losing my mind...



seriously...