Monday, August 15, 2011

Sooo....yeah that's all I got...

Hello everyone!
    I know most of my regular followers have probably wondered a few times if I had fallen in a muddy hole somewhere and got lost. Well I have been pretty lost these last couple of months but not so much in the woods as in my own head. I have been meaning to post something sooner but "today" turned into "tomorrow" turned into like 3 months. So yeah. I was keeping up on reading but I dropped that a few weeks ago too. I just haven't been in the mood for any kind of social upkeep really.

But for the sake of staying semi-sane I decided I would at least be fair enough to let everyone know that I am still around. I haven't completely given up blogging....yet. I have found it harder to blog and even read about everyone else with what's been going on the last few months. I did some light reading today and found that several people have come back from blog hiatus with the typical excuse "I have been hiding because I am ashamed". My excuse is the same theme. My last post involved me finally "trying" to get back on track and I am still in the same water only deeper. I have NOT lost any more weight and what's worse than plateauing??? Hmm...that would be gaining all but 11lbs of my lost weight back. So basically it's like I never got the band. I am technically heavier now than I was on the my surgery day. I won't even get into how utterly depressing that is for me. I am not looking for sympathy. It is what it is. Struggling daily with this has become second nature unfortunately. Yes, I know the solution. I know the formula for weight loss, I just can't seem to use it. I don't know what the blockage is, hell, maybe it's sheer laziness. The cycle continues....I eat because I feel fat and I am fat because I eat. How frickin stupid is that? Makes no sense really.


I am putting together a portfolio to start my apprenticeship to become a tattoo artist. It's something I have been passionate about for years (more of a pipedream) and finally I have decided to go for it. I have always been an artistic person whether it be in crafts, drawing, singing, writing, etc. To me, this is a dream job. Something that I could really enjoy and be proud of. And the money isn't bad either. It will take a while to get up and going but it will be worth it if everything works out. Ultimate goal would be to own a shop and rock it out.

I went on vacation at the end of July and got a new tat and my nose pierced... That was fun! What else? Oh remember how the hubby and I were trying to buy our first house? Yeah well that plan is on hold for a while now because his job is basically screwing him over. His boss is a complete asshole and I can't stand him and he is holding the hubby back just to be a jerk. So the hubby is trying to find a new job as well at a different location. So life has just been super these days. Could be worse I know...count your blessings!

Well that's all I have for now. I am exhausted just talking about it. Hopefully I will pop in more than I have been.....Hopefully!

Miss you guys! tata


  1. Sorry you are struggling, Jess. I hope things turn around for you!

  2. Keep blogging babe no matter whether you put on or take off, if blogging will help that is. Good luck with your dream job.

  3. I am so glad you posted. Keep coming back, many of us are still here. There have been a few dropouts and I expect it's because they haven't gotten the results they had hoped for. But guess what, me too. I'm struggling. I'm up almost 10 pounds from my lowest (today at 176) but I'm still working it. I'll get filled until the sweet spot comes back. It is just taking so long to get back there. Have you seen your doc? The band is there to help us and I've decided I will make it work for me.

    You a tattoo artist. That's great. But I think I will pass. I don't think I could handle the pain! Good luck doll. I hope the band come back to help you out.

  4. How cool that you are pursuing your desire to be a tattoo artist! My nephew wants to do that too. I would be too afraid of making a mistake, but I bet you learn how to fix stuff if that happens.

    I'm sure sorry that you are struggling with the food issues. WLS doesn't fix our fucked up habits, nor does it solve the mental BS that we carry with us.

    I'm looking at your little chart on the side of the screen. Have you really only had one fill? If so you may need another. Most people don't get good restriction without several adjustments. The cool thing about the Lap-band is that you can ALWAYS decide to get back to it. Get a fill, return to your healthy eating habits. You can do it!


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