Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Monday, December 12, 2011

Run, run, run away!

So the husband got my treadmill on Saturday night and was setting it up when I got home. It's a really nice treadmill. We picked it out together several weeks ago and it's basically a Christmas gift that we both wanted. He wanted the Flex belt for ABS (I told him those things don't work but he insisted they do...). Good for him. We shall see how well that thing just "makes" abs without the heart rate being raised. If it was that easy we would all be supermodels, I say.

So to celebrate the purchase of that demonic contraption I will be learning how to run on...I went out yesterday and got me some runnin' shoes! Yepperz....they sure are purty and pretty darn comfy, I might add. I tested them out last night on the dready (pet name for the demonic treadmill) and it went well as it could go anyway. I mean I was huffin and puffin at .5 speed and 0 incline.....haha Not really....that would be sad. I look up at the husband and say it's time to tape the girls down because I can't run with them smacking me in the face. He said he doesn't ever remember seeing me run in the 8 years we have been together. I can believe it. I hate running. I told him the Biggest Loser contestants can run at like a 7 while they are training and I attempted that. *Note to self....7.0 is no bueno for Jessica at this point in time. I literally almost buckled and slid off. I am SOOOOO out of shape right now. I don't think I have actually worked out for real in several months. Up until last week my two friends and I were walking 4 miles about 4 nights a week. That did wonders for my calves but not much else. I wasn't getting a burn or anything really. I feel fatter than ever...literally. I don't think I have EVER had this much fat accumulated on my body at once even pre-band. Damn damn damn....

Time to get it poppin'

Thursday, December 8, 2011

New Orleans...Bourbon St

Oh yes, I figured while I am on a roll and all with my sharing stuff after my 5 month disappearance...My friends and I just returned from our trip to New Orleans on Monday. It was only a weekend trip but it seemed like it lasted a week. It was a good time as usual. We got lots of cute and somewhat drunken pictures....haha. We went to the St Louis Cemetary 1 and I got pictures of Nicolas Cage's pyramid tomb and Maria Laveau's. Very interesting....Anyhoo

I figured you are all probably just dying to know how I am looking these days (don't get too excited...I'm not) so I am going to post some pictures of me trying on my outfits I bought to wear in NOLA. Here we go...

Friday Night


Saturday Night


Hello again....

Well, it's only been centuries since I posted anything. I almost gave up on it all, honestly. I have been guilty of lurking in the shadows and reading some posts every once in a blue moon (not very often actually). I just got depressed reading about everyone's "journey" and realizing that my journey has been put in reverse for a while now. Technically not a damn drop of progress made. I am still in this "rut" in the realm of fat where everyone resembles marshmallows with eyeballs and boobs. I have lost myself for the hundredth time. I am sick of it. And on top of it all, not that I blame anyone at all, I am losing followers too. Oh yes, my number is slowling decreasing. What's wrong with you people? You don't enjoy following someone on a blog that never....blogs??? hahaha Yeah I don't blame you.

Here's a plus in my cards....I am buying a really nice treadmill this weekend with the hubby as an early Christmas present to ourselves. Question is...will have the balls to use it?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Sooo....yeah that's all I got...

Hello everyone!
    I know most of my regular followers have probably wondered a few times if I had fallen in a muddy hole somewhere and got lost. Well I have been pretty lost these last couple of months but not so much in the woods as in my own head. I have been meaning to post something sooner but "today" turned into "tomorrow" turned into like 3 months. So yeah. I was keeping up on reading but I dropped that a few weeks ago too. I just haven't been in the mood for any kind of social upkeep really.

But for the sake of staying semi-sane I decided I would at least be fair enough to let everyone know that I am still around. I haven't completely given up blogging....yet. I have found it harder to blog and even read about everyone else with what's been going on the last few months. I did some light reading today and found that several people have come back from blog hiatus with the typical excuse "I have been hiding because I am ashamed". My excuse is the same theme. My last post involved me finally "trying" to get back on track and I am still in the same water only deeper. I have NOT lost any more weight and what's worse than plateauing??? Hmm...that would be gaining all but 11lbs of my lost weight back. So basically it's like I never got the band. I am technically heavier now than I was on the my surgery day. I won't even get into how utterly depressing that is for me. I am not looking for sympathy. It is what it is. Struggling daily with this has become second nature unfortunately. Yes, I know the solution. I know the formula for weight loss, I just can't seem to use it. I don't know what the blockage is, hell, maybe it's sheer laziness. The cycle continues....I eat because I feel fat and I am fat because I eat. How frickin stupid is that? Makes no sense really.


I am putting together a portfolio to start my apprenticeship to become a tattoo artist. It's something I have been passionate about for years (more of a pipedream) and finally I have decided to go for it. I have always been an artistic person whether it be in crafts, drawing, singing, writing, etc. To me, this is a dream job. Something that I could really enjoy and be proud of. And the money isn't bad either. It will take a while to get up and going but it will be worth it if everything works out. Ultimate goal would be to own a shop and rock it out.

I went on vacation at the end of July and got a new tat and my nose pierced... That was fun! What else? Oh remember how the hubby and I were trying to buy our first house? Yeah well that plan is on hold for a while now because his job is basically screwing him over. His boss is a complete asshole and I can't stand him and he is holding the hubby back just to be a jerk. So the hubby is trying to find a new job as well at a different location. So life has just been super these days. Could be worse I know...count your blessings!

Well that's all I have for now. I am exhausted just talking about it. Hopefully I will pop in more than I have been.....Hopefully!

Miss you guys! tata

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Where did funny go???

For some odd reason I decided today to go back to the beginning of my blog (January 2010), which seems like a century ago and read some of my old posts and you know what I realized?

I used to be a sarcastic, cheesy kinda way but still...funny.

I feel like maybe I have lost that a bit over the past year. Sad? Me thinks so. I also realized that my posts from now compared to then have a similar theme/ring to them which would be "NEVER MASTERING THE LOW CARB WORLD". Seriously...if you are ever bored and would like to be even MORE bored.....just travel back to some of my early posts and you'll see it's literally like a broken record. haha! Also, I realized that I type far too fast because I found so many grammar errors it was ridiculous. Hell, I've probably made some in this post already!

Anyway...I found one post in particular that actually had me laughing a little and figured I would re-post it since I don't have any interesting tid bits to share lately. This is just a piece of it. All of this stuff still "irks" me BTW. haha

 I have decided to devise a list of things that irk me. Things that probably wouldn't irk most people and I am trying to decide if I have some kind of mental problem or if I am just a mega-bitch. You tell me. (sigh)

1. The annoying sound of the teller sorting her mail near my desk. I can hear each piece of mail brush the table as they seperate the different kinds of deposits and stuff. IRK!

2. People constantly using the back office bathroom just because it's in a vault! Look people, use the big bathroom! Got news, your poopy is no secret seeing as you just locked yourself in a 3x3 room and took a number 2 and there's a line out of the door waiting for you to come out!!!! No secret you stink!

3. People who constantly ask me "Is it Friday yet?" all week long, all year long. No it's not Friday and here's a tip for ya, if you hate your job that much, get a new one!

4. My peach fuzz on my stomach has gotten darker since surgery so either I am turning into a he-she or I am the new Casper the friendly freakin ghost???

5. Jaw popping gum! No not smacking but popping like some people can chew gum and they make it pop while in their mouth on their teeth! Nails on a chalkboard to my ears! Stop that shit!

6. When someone you work with is on vacation or out sick and everyone and their momma keeps asking YOU if you have heard from them and how they are doing like you keep a journal of their every move! WTH? I don't live with em' people! Quit asking! Or better yet, here's the phone number figure it out!

7. When taco bell goes down totally smooth and I feel like I gained 10lbs in a day.

8. When my toenail polish flakes off of 3 different toes. I hate painting my toenails!

9. When the same damn people ask me every other day, "So how much have you lost?" seriously??? Ya just asked me that yesterday! Do ya think I will melt away overnight chicken head? (that was mean, but damn it IRKS me)

10. And FINALLY, driving! If I had a bazooka I would blow people on the road away (does that sound dirty? hmm). I say all the time I need my own highway named after me that only I can drive on and the world would be a better place! :)

The END.

I am going on my trip to New Braunfels tomorrow to scrape my ass on rocks  float on the river. We rented campers for the weekend and will be drinking and having a good ol' time. So expect some picture posts soon (assuming I don't look like a beached whale in them).

Have a great weekend everyone, and oh yeah, thanks for the comments on the bikini post. Appreciate it!

Smooches peeps!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Where's my bikini????

Ahh THERE IT IS!!!! LMAO! I don't know what happened to my photo yesterday....probably karma!

Let's try this again!

Oh yeah, and please excuse the squished boobs...Like I said yesterday, it is an extra large but in KIDS meaning boobless! haha

Anyhoo...I wish I could stay longer and chit chat. Thanks for all of your belated bday wishes!!!! Oh and you are totally right, DRAZ, I should ask Jenny to make me a kick ass header! That would be awesome! :)

Smooches boo boo's!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Big 25 and some pics!

Hi peeps!

Ok so Monday the 13th was my 25th birthday....(shhh...don't tell anyone ok?) I had a wonderful weekend filled with lots of activities. Sunday, my friends, the hubby, and me all went to the Kemah boardwalk and ate lunch at T-Bone Tom's (featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives one time) and then on to the Aquarium. For those of you who may not know....I LOVE PETS not food! I so enjoy going and seeing all the beatiful fish and we got to feed the stingrays again this year. They are like puppies when you have food! Monday, the BFF and I took off of work and had lunch with my mom and a few of my sisters at my favorite Mexican restaurant and before hand the BFF bought her and I a trip to the dry sauna at our tanning salon and we sweated our asses off for a good 40 minutes in that thing. I could NEVER live in the desert.....NEVER!

Here are a few photos:

The BFF paid to have a caricature done of us as a bday gift...I love it!

One of the pictures I took at the Aquarium

Another Aquarium picture. Isn't it awesome? They are so pretty.

This is a bikini I bought on Saturday to possibly wear to
the river trip next weekend.  What's funny is that I felt like
it was a bit tight and when I looked at the tag after I took it off
I realized that it was an extra KIDS! hahaha

I'm not sure how I manage to pose like that every time. It's like I have the unconcious know how of sticking that one leg out and sucking in like no other!!!! hahahaha I sure have not lost weight lately....more the opposite but I am taking a wise man's advice and going "back to the beginning" and starting this journey over again as if I am pre-op again. It's funny because I have only had protein shakes today and plenty of water but I am not hungry. I am very surprised. A little rumble in the tummy but that's about it. CRAZY! Hopefully this can get me back to a good place mentally with the band. We shall see!

Ok...gotta fly now...still gotta catch up on my post reading! TTFN!

Friday, June 3, 2011

playing along...

I figured I would steal this from Holly at Plush Belle. It looked interesting enough! haha

ABC's of Food (surprise!)

A-Apple- What is your favorite?  Apples are my least favorite fruit but I would say pink lady is the best.
B-Bread- Regardless of calories or nutrition, what would you like to have a big slice of? Ciabatta roll with fonduta (YUM!)
C-Cereal- What is your favorite? Fruity pebbles...I won't even buy a box anymore because I will eat the whole thing in one day.
D-Doughnut-What kind is your favorite? I really don't care for donuts at all but I would say either a plain glazed or a creme filled
E-Eggs- How do you like yours prepared? Scrambled if it's a whole egg, fried if it's egg whites only.
F-Fat Free- What is your favorite product? Water? haha
G-Groceries- Where do you purchase yours at? Walmart mostly..sometimes local stores
H-Hot beverages- Favorite? Green tea with sugar and french vanilla coffeemate! YUMMO!
I-Ice Cream- Favorite? Never been a fan of ice cream either (how did I get fat???) but if I had to choose I'd say rainbow sherbert
J-Jam or Jelly- Do you eat them? If so what kinds? I USED to eat them. I love strawberry jam and grape jelly
K-Kashi- Do you purchase their products, if so which ones? Yes, and I like the grain and fruit bars

L-Lunch- What was yours today? Chicken Diablo at a local Mexican restaurant. It is a piece of chicken fajita, mexican cheese, and fresh jalapeno wrapped in a slice of bacon served on a bed of lettuce. DELISH!
M-Microwave- What is your favorite microwaved meal or snack? Michael Angelo's Cheese Lasagna!
N-Nutrients- Do you like carbs, fats, or proteins the most? DUH! Carbs!
O-Oil-What kind do you use? Olive oil
P-Protein-How do you get yours? Sometimes from protein bars, chicken, pork, beef, and some soy
Q-Quaker-How do you like your oats? With some butter and brown sugar and a few strawberries or blueberries
R-Roasting-What is your favorite food to roast? Beef haha
S-Sandwich- Favorite? Quiznos oven roasted turkey breast with cheddar, tomato, pickle, mayo and southwest chipotle sauce!
T-Travel- How do you handle eating while traveling? I go crazy and eat just about any damn thing I want. Sad, I know.
U-Unique- What is your strangest food combination? plain raw pickles dipped in ranch dressing with saltine crackers (it's a tradition my friend at work and I do almost every Friday)
V-Vitamins-What kind do you take? BAD! I haven't been taking vitamins but when I do I take them I do the chewy flinstones ones, calcium chews, and B12 sublinguals
W-Water-How much do you drink a day? About 80oz on good days
X- X-Ray- If we did a tummy x-ray what foods would we see? lunch and I ate scrambled eggs, one sausage patty, and some watermelon for breakfast! I love watermelon!

Y-Youth- What food reminds you of your youth? Spaghetti pie and potato salad and hot water cornbread make me think of my Granny. I loved it when she cooked that stuff. She was a great cook.
Z-Zucchini- How do you prepare it? Steamed or sauteed in a stir-fry! yumm!

Well that was fun! Took longer than I expected but still fun!

As far as updates go...I still can't comment on blogs!!! I am getting stupid pissed about that! On me? Well I am still working on me day by day.

Have a good weekend.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

La dee da!

I figured I would try to post. Perfect timing since blogland is in an uproar from all it's technical difficulties that have been occurring. I have been keeping up on reading but can't comment half of the time so know this, I still love you guys and am trying to let you know this but blogger won't allow it!

Now for an update. I know everyone is dying to know if I'm at goal yet....I mean I must's been long enough hasn't it? Well NOT even close!!! haha in fact I am stuck in quick sand as we speak drowning in seas of lard and yogurt butter with a touch of granola on top. Yup that's me. I have literally gone from carb counting, to calorie counting, now I am thinking about going paleo again like I used to. I AM LOSING IT FOLKS! Certainly, losing it (and I don't mean lbs either).

On a side note: This really has absolutely nothing to do with anything but I thought I'd mention it anyway since I'm doing so great at blubbering so far. I look at my cell earlier and I had a missed call and voicemail from a strange unknown number. I call it back to see what it is and it's a weight loss surgery center in San Antonio asking me if I ever got surgery. Apparently I had called them back in 2009 to price the lapband at that location. HA! Here's how that went:

Woman: Did you ever have a surgery?

Me: Yes, in Feb 2010 in Houston.

Woman: What did you have done?

Me: Lapband.

Woman: And how has that worked out for you

Me: Pause....Pause...longer pause.... It's worked out ok. (Instantly feeling I should play UP the band and make it sound like my results have been marvelous even though they haven't thanks to my head)

Woman: Oh? (in a tone suggesting she would like more than just "OK")

Me: Pause again....I mean I've done fairly well with it. (like being punched in the gut with guilt for lying)

Woman: Have you been following up with your aftercare as far as adjustments go?

Me: Yes......I am in a good place right now. (Not really. I mean I don't need a fill because I am still a little tight and get stuck out of the blue on a daily basis. BUT I think another unfill would leave me ravenous.)

Woman: Well congrats on following through with the surgery and I am glad it worked out for you!

Me: Thanks alot!


Instantly I thought Oh my gosh, I wonder if they would revise the band for free???? hahahahaha yeah right! Now I know some of you are probably screaming at your monitors right now, "oh you crazy beotch! How you gonna talk smack about the band???" First of all, I am not blaming the band by any means for me not losing. I honestly feel that the weight I have lost (technically 16lbs now that I have gained some back from my lowest) was ALL ME. It didn't have much to do with the band. I know this, because I did it before the band. I have yet to break my lowest low of 169lbs that I got to a few years ago when I did the South Beach Diet for 3 months. In 2 months I had lost 20lbs back then and got down to 169lbs and gained it all back, of course. I haven't seen that number with the band. I think my lowest with the band was 174lbs and that lasted for like a second.

I think my head is too much of a problem still. I don't know if it will ever allow me to truly use the band as the tool it's meant to be. No, this isn't just a phase I am going through because I am discouraged. I have felt this way for a while but was in denial. I didn't want to admit that I basically threw $12,000 down the drain by getting a surgery that EVERYONE close to me told me I shouldn't get. They said that I could do it on my own and I just KNEW without a doubt that the lapband was the answer to doing it. But I think I was wrong. I should've known that I needed to fix my head first. I feel like I am back at square one trying a different diet every other day, obsessed with reading weight loss stories, magazines, books, etc all over again like I used to do. It's like I don't even have the band. And to top things off I think my metabolism is shot for now. It seems that even if I make an effort for a week or so the scale doesn't respond...AT ALL. I think that's why I long for that "new miracle diet" to pop up still to maybe jump start me. I know one thing, I am tired of this cycle.'s only taken me like 2 hours to write this with all the interruptions at work. So I will sign off by saying....Too-daloo friends!

Monday, May 16, 2011

10 days since last confession...

Well, yes, I am still around. I have been trying to keep up with everyone's posts. I must admit I have lost interest in posting for myself just because I don't have any good news to share on the weight loss front. And because of that I feel like there's not many topics I can visit without feeling like a loser. (not fishing for compliments, just stating the facts)

I have been going up and down on the scale (mostly up) and managed to gain back 14lbs from my lowest of 175lbs. You do the math and that's where I've been sitting now for the last week or two. I ATTEMPTED for the last month...or two... to start the Primal diet, the South Beach diet, the Atkins diet (see the low carb trend here?) and had an excuse every day of why I couldn't whether it be not having money at the moment to buy the RIGHT groceries from the food list to not feeling it's the right time because of too many events on my calendar. So when I did have the money I would still buy junk, when I did buy the RIGHT foods I still didn't eat it (no time to cook was the excuse on that one). And when I did attempt to eat the right stuff I would make it to dinner and then go crazy and eat like a maniac. Sooo...

I hate to have to admit it for the millionth  time, but low-carb just isn't for me. I just can't do it. I know some of you have had great success so far and I am sure I could too if I tortured myself to get through it for a while but I know, without a doubt, that I could never stick to it for the rest of my life and that would just lead to a regain plus more once I quit doing it. So I have gone back to the roots of weight loss, the science which is...

calories in vs. calories out

Honestly, this is just the only way I think I can survive. I MUST count calories. It's the only way I can feel less deprived and less psycho about losing. That's what was working for me when I hit my lowest a few months ago and  it can be slow-moving but it's what works. It's one method that's been around forever and has been proven to work many times over.  My vice is hitting a plateau and giving up all hope within a few days of it. That's my problemo. The halt. The end. The dreaded plateau. I must learn to push through it. I have to get to where even if the scale stops moving for a while I still hit the ground running. I need to be less obsessed with the numbers and more watchful of the inches and how my clothes are fitting.

I must do something because it has been scary the last few weeks watching the scale climb up rapidly. I could feel myself losing control and literally see myself swelling up back to the size I started at. Sad process, that's for sure. I have been watching my eating for the last few days and lost a couple of lbs but who knows how accurate that is after all my binging for the last weeks. And because of my eating I stopped weighing regularly because of course I didn't want to see what I weighed because I knew it went up. Classic.

(brief pause because I got busy at work)

It is truly so messed up at how lazy I am. I am sitting here eating a Chobani yogurt and a few almonds and can't help but thinking 'gah, I dread having to be committed to a program'. How unbelievably lazy is this???
I dread having to watch what I eat and plug in food to a calorie counter 3 times a day, and I hate knowing that if I want results I have to go home and exercise. Why can't I enjoy the process damn it??? Why can't I just be grateful that I have been blessed with a body that is able to change if I let it? Nope, instead I want to be lazy and stuff myself to the brim and then whine when my body is overrun by fat? Looney tunes, that's what that is.

Ok. I'm done rambling....for today anyway.

Friday, May 6, 2011


Anyone having to use appetite suppressants plus the band?????? hahaha

Losing my mind...


Friday, April 29, 2011

Somewhere in the cracks...

I am lurking and hovering, reading your posts but neglecting my own.

Why you ask????

Well I know I haven't posted any pics lately of my recent transformation. So let me begin by saying, life is frickin hard and we all have issues and it sucks, blah blah blah, excuse, whine, blah.

This is a recent photo of me.... I don't know what happened. It's disastrous.

Nuff said.....

Friday, April 22, 2011

Easter treats

Food port ALERT: I made from scratch cupcakes last night. Orange cake with fresh orange zest baked in and zested cream cheese frosting. I colored the frosting pastel green and then used dark green sprinkles for a grassy look. Jordan almonds make the flower on top! It was so fun to make. I really enjoy baking and bringing them to my friends to try. And they really are delicious.

I don't really have much else to say. I am still going through the whole house-hunting thing and between that and work I am just drained to the point of exhaustion. I have been eating a little better but not enough to make a big impression on my weight. UGH> I'll jump on the train eventually. Who knows!

I appreciate your comments on my last post.

@Manda: I make necklaces, bracelets, and earrings of all sorts. I specialize in stones and beads. I started it at first as a hobby for myself because I love wearing unique jewelry but then once people started asking about all my stuff I realized I could probably make extra money by selling. So that's my current venture. Hope it works out.

Well I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter weekend.

tata for now loves!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Homes and nervous breakdowns

Ok. I know I have been MIA for a while. I have been stellar busy. The hubby and I have been jumping through hoop after hoop trying to buy our first house. It's exciting but kicking my ass all at once. It seems for every door that opens another door slams shut in my face. We have gotten our pre-qualification out of the way. For a moment we thought about possibly building but the first time home buyer program we are in won't allow that. So there goes that option. Now I am back to square one. I have been spending hours every day searching and scouring our local towns for decent homes in our price range! What a frickin nightmare! I knew it would be stressful to start this whole process but geesh. It's like I eat, sleep, and breathe HOUSE!
It really doesn't help that hubby has all these stipulations and preferences that he REFUSES to compromise on. The house MUST be a house and not a mobile home, he says. It MUST be over 2000 sq feet. It MUST be on at least an acre of land, PREFERABLY brick. Yadda yadda yadda. My only rule is it MUST have a nice sized kitchen (I want room to cook. I have never had room to cook really good food that I would like to cook.) And preferably a garden tub in the master bathroom. Just give me a moment to pull my mother*effin hair out!

I'm back.

I have also hit rock bottom weight loss wise. I nearly passed out when I saw last week's weigh-in results for the Spring Challenge. I was literally the ONLY person that GAINED!!!!!! And when I started the challenge I thought it would motivate me to be a star. Well I will be remembered alright....for GAINING!!!! haha geez Louise! I don't think I have exercised in almost 2 months and I just keep gaining and losing the same 5 lbs. UGH!

I have one thing to be proud of today and that's the fact that I have not had a Dr. Pepper in almost 2 days. That is a triumph, believe me when I have been sucking the stuff down like it's the spring of eternal life. I told my friends to just hook me up to my own DP IV drip. That would be great. I started my click shakes back up (for breakfast only) last week. I faltered in that over the weekend but got right back to it yesterday. I did well yesterday for lunch and had grilled flounder fillet and grilled veggies but come dinner time I went wacko and ate spaghetti and about 8 chocolate chip cookies in the span of 2-3 hours. Oh AND 2 slices of lemon sponge cake AND I decided to be brilliant and throw some walnuts into some caramel fruit dip and eat that 5 minutes before bedtime at 1am. Woo hoo for me. I was on a frickin roll people!

But through all of the BS I managed to stear clear from the DP. I'll be honest, I could live off of DP. I LOVE it! It's the Romeo to my Juliet, the sand to my sea, the sun to my flowers. It's DEVINE! Why? oh Why must I be addicted to prune juice???? But I have found that since I have stopped drinking it in this long day and a half I have gone from drinking less than one bottle of water to drinking 8. So I guess I must sacrifice my love for the greater good of water. DAMN!

I made a homemade stir-fry last night with stew meat, bean sprouts, zucchini, squash, portabello mushrooms, and water chestnuts. DELISH!!! I had that for lunch today and I made a big enough batch to last me for a couple of days. I think tonight I might have a bit more of that and possibly some eggs and bacon for dinner. I am trying to slowly go full on Primal Blueprint (similar to Atkins). We'll see.

Aww well life goes on none-the-less.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Too short for comfort...

No time...busy day at work...

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

tata for now!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Wedding Photos

Ok. I know ya'll are dying to hear about the wonderful wedding. It was gorgeous and my SIL was stunning! I am so proud that I was able to be a part of that moment.  Here are some pictures as promised.
My hair

The happy couple and their 2 children


I really love this picture. The guy in the cowboy hat is my hubby :)

The bridal party from Left to Right: Laura, Me, Candace, Kaitlyn, and Danette
My niece Kaitlyn, the flower girl

We had a great time and the reception was lovely. The cakes were DELICIOUS and yes, I had 2 pieces of cake and some BBQ. I was exhausted by the time we left but it was well worth it.

That's all I have for now..

OH and BTW, the cake I had definitely showed on the scale the next day. I weighed in at 184.3!!!! ahhhh!!! I haven't gotten up that high in months! How frickin lovely!

chunk deuce!

Friday, April 1, 2011

In a Jiffy

Well...I've decided to delete my blog. I am just basically over the whole "weight loss" thing. OVER IT! As in I am going to stuff my face tonight until the entire 2 oz I've lost over the last 5 months is back and fatter than ever! Do you think it will distributely evenly into both ass cheeks? Knowing my luck it will be 1.5 oz in the left and .5oz in the right. Yeah.







April Fools!!! Hahaha

So yeah I could never do that. I depend on this thing and ya'll too much to at least "maintain" my weight loss. It's inspiring reading about everyone's journey and even if my journey has slowed to a turtle's pace it's still MY journey. At least I know I CAN get there one day as soon as I decide I must. Until then I will just have to live vicariously through all of you!

My SIL's wedding is tomorrow! EEK!! I am excited and soooo stressed. I have to be up by 7:30am and be at our hair appt at 9am and then it's a long drive to the venue (about an hour) and then time to rehearse and then get all prettied up. I will get as many pics as possible to share. Can't wait.

Have a good weekend!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Fun Weekend

Well I had a super full weekend. Friday night I got to hang out with an old friend for her birthday. We got to sit around and talk about memories and what not and that was nice and nostalgic. Then Saturday I went to my work friend's son's birthday party (he turned 1) at Old MacDonald's Farm. There are farm animals for kids to feed and pet and a playground and swimming pool as well. It's pretty neat. They have tame deer and peacocks walking around freely that you can just walk right up to. I am such an animal lover you'd have thought it was my birthday! haha

Precious deer just hanging out by the picnic tables

We had a lot of fun there and I got pics of all the animals. We left and headed straight to the mall for some last minute gift shopping for my sister-in-law's wedding shower. We met up with the rest of the bridal party at Olive Garden and had a late lunch and ended up sitting there for 2 hours laughing and joking and had a great time. My SIL loved her gifts (mostly x-rated romantic toys and lingerie). We left Olive Garden and went to Cindie's Lingerie and gifts to look for her a pink and black corset for her wedding dress. I love that place and we ended up browsing in there for a couple of hours! haha!!! FUN FUN FUN!

Needless to say I was worn out after all the excitement and when I finally got home I cuddled up on the couch to the hubby and we watched some movies (my fav passtime). I am still having a hell of a time with my allergies. I keep a headache in my temples and nose and neck. I started taking Sudafed (I NEVER take pills unless I'm dying) and I tossed and turned all night because of that and literally never got to sleep. I am sick of this really.

I also managed to gain basically 2 lbs last week. My challenge weigh-in SUCKED at 182lbs! I haven't been drinking water hardly at all. Maybe 1 bottle a day if that. I have been eating whatever and whenever I want. Blah blah blah!

I just want some S.L.E.E.P.!!!

Friday, March 25, 2011


I don't even deserve to write a post today.

Why? You ask.

See below:

Fried Oreo Cookies
That's right...I can't handle the guilt. I ate....them.


That is all...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

New dress photo

So I got a new bridesmaid dress on Tuesday night at David's Bridal. I am actually thinking I like this one better than the other for more than just the fact that it actually fits. haha! It's watermelon pink and with the difference in price I went ahead and got the black satin heels there too and only paid $23 for them (they were $50 shoes). I think it looks alright.

A little dark but you get the point...

Sooo...I am still off track some but I am not as stressed about it knowing that I have a dress that fits. The wedding is next weekend!!! It seems like it was yesterday I was saying "oh I have 2 months to get fit for the wedding". YEAH, boy, that's a laugh!

Aww well...just for kicks I am posting my menu for today:

Bfast: maple oatmeal with blueberries, walnuts, and a few grapes, and a tiny squirt of Agave nectar and some cranberry juice
Snack: Spiced paprika saltines (friend at work makes them...take saltine crackers and toss them in a bag with a blend of olive oil, paprika, red crushed pepper seeds and some ranch powder) DELICIOUS!
Lunch: 3 boudain balls and 2 tbsp of jalapeno ranch dressing
Snack: small quakers granola and raisin bar, 1 small piece of dark chocolate
Dinner: steaks with brown rice and creamy pepper gravy, asparagus cuts

That is all for now...Have a good day!

Monday, March 21, 2011

how time flies...

I really didn't realize until over the weekend that I hadn't posted in 11 days. I thought it was more like 5 or 6. Wow can we say "avoidance"? Geesh Thanks for the comments though, appreciate it. Allan, you are too funny. I am so very glad you enjoy my bikini shots (at least someone does). I will probably have plenty more during the summer months (if I get my ass in gear and lose more weight).

I went ahead and bought me a couple  of Smart Ones meals and a few Healthy Choice meals just to have around for convenience. I was thinking maybe if I have those around for when I am lazy and don't want to cook it will help me not binge on take out. We'll see....

I did my challenge weigh-in yesterday and it was 180.2lbs. I only lost like 4oz last week, which is actually pretty great based on all the utter crap I ate all week. No exercise, no eating right. Hell, that's lucky! I am going one day after work this week to get a different dress for the wedding next weekend. I tried the one I had ordered from David's bridal on last week and it wouldn't zip STILL. In fact, there was even less room than when I tried it on at the store!!! Well SHIT! I knew that was coming. So instead of stressing every day about it until the wedding and hoping and praying I lose enough inches in the next 2 weeks I am just going to get something that fits RIGHT NOW. That way if I lose weight by then, oh well if it's a little loose. Better loose than too tight. I would be so killing myself if I kept this dress and it didn't fit on the wedding day.

Anyway...I'm working on things. Day by day....meal by meal. That's all I can do right now. I started getting sick on Thursday and now I have a full blown cold. Sandpaper in my throat, awful cough, stuffy and runny nose all at once and extreme tiredness and it feels like my eyes are softballs.  UGH! This does not help my motivation for losing right now.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Have you ever...???

Ok. I realize I haven't posted since Sunday but I honestly just haven't had much of anything interesting to talk about. I am not doing so well on my challenge. I haven't weighed since Sunday but I am pretty sure I haven't lost an ounce! I SUCK! Which brings me to this question:

Have any of you ever tried the delivery meals or pre-prepared meal plans where your food is already made for you and portioned out and stuff??? I see in my magazines all the time that celebrities use those delivery services to keep in shape and eating right because it takes off the pressure of having to cook a bunch of meals and the convenience factor too. I am thinking of trying this out. I feel like I have reached the end of my rope on this crap.

I am on some crazy ass emotional rollercoaster and the weight loss just isn't kicking in because, quite frankly, I don't give a shit enough to let it. I have finally come to terms with this. I just don't think I am caring enough to make this work. I have definitely become complacent with where I am and I hate that because I truly want to move on. It's like a have a split personality or something. The angel me is on one shoulder saying "Jessica, get in gear and get this weight will be so happy/healthy when you do" and on the other side is the demon me saying "Hey, you are fine where ya are. Don't try so hard. No biggy if ya stay right here." And guess what, the demon is easier to listen to and it's definitely been winning the battle.

Anyway....I just wanted to let everyone know, yes I am still alive and kicking....

Today is my hubby's birthday and we are going out tomorrow night to celebrate with a bunch of our friends. Should be a wonderful time.

Have a good weekend. 

Monday, March 7, 2011

Challenge Week 1 Weigh IN

Short and err...bitter??? I don't have time to find my scale picture I took for the challenge but my weigh-in yesterday was


UGH!!! Thanks salt, fat, and carbs! Thanks a bunch. I really appreciated your company over the last week and the weekend. It was just swell! But you are wearing out your stay and your ass needs to go! Tata for now!


Friday, March 4, 2011

What in the world???

Is anyone else having trouble with blogger? For the last couple of weeks I have been having technical things going on like when I go to write a new post it won't load all of the tool bar above and so it just keeps pending. Then in the middle of reading posts the comment box will disappear and I can't comment. It's like it just comes and goes throughout the day. This is really starting to tick me the hell off!

Now that I've fumed about that. I wanted to say thanks to everyone's comments from my last post. Allan, you are too funny and slightly pervy...haha!!! You crack me up! As always your wonderful comments are very uplifting.

I wasn't feeling well yesterday. I kept having this pain shoot through my right cheekbone and into my ear. Everyone is getting flu-like symptoms around here and I BETTER NOT be getting sick! I just felt shitty all day and I decided I would suck ass and order Mexican food and gorge (kinda). I ordered a dish called the Brian's special and it comes layered as a dip with ground beef, refried beans, and mexican cheese. Obviously I ate several chips with it. Afterwards I felt liked I'd just been wiped off of someone's shoe. I took a nap and just felt awful. To top it off I ate a weight watchers fudge bar a few hours later for dessert. UGH! haha...but I have been thinking alot about what you all keep drilling telling me about. That I need to stop being so hard on myself about every single thing I don't feel is up to par.

I HAVE made progrees (slowly but true)
I HAVE lost inches from working out.
I CAN continue on and get to my goal (maybe just not as quickly as some)
I DO feel more confident than ever NOW.
I SHOULD be happy with where I am because HERE isn't so bad after all.

I want to keep going but the more I look at my pictures and read your comments about what you think of my progress I am starting to realize that maybe that's why I have been stuck in the 170's since last July. Maybe because when I look at myself I don't feel DISGUSTED anymore. I am giving myself more inner compliments than before. Maybe I am slacking off of losing more weight because I unconciously don't really mind where I am at. I think I honestly feel like my mini goal of 150 is unattainable. I don't know why. It's not that I think I CAN'T do it. It's that I feel like I WON'T do it. I am worried I will keep self sabotaging because I don't mind being 170-something lbs if I look like this. I realize that I don't LOOK like I weigh that much. I hear it all the time. Maybe that's given me a lame excuse to not keep trying. Like I'm telling myself "Well why bother, everyone thinks you look great. You're fine here."

Really, I want to make it to my goals because I want to prove to myself that it's possible. That I am strong enough to do it. It just seems like that day may never come. I don't intend on quitting by any means but I am tired of constantly worrying about it all. It's a worry that never leaves. I am ALWAYS thinking about what to do next, what to eat next, what exercise I should do next. It gets so damn old always obsessing abou it. So I am going to promise myself to go with the flow more and stop being such a stick in the ass in this process.

So there...

Have a great weekend...

The end!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Before P90X Photos and yummy shake recipe!

Ok, well I am totally blown away by all of your wonderful comments on my shorts photo from yesterday's post. I honestly was not expecting such an uproar of praises. That just goes to show we don't always see ourselves the way others see us. So thank you all for your uplifting compliments. That was truly unexpected and awesome. But I will tell ya, a picture isn't a 360 degree rotation so there's some bumps on this road that the picture doesn't show! haha Maybe one day I will be brave enough to post some nudes (with ladybits blurred/blacked out of course). One day....

For those of you not familiar with the P90x program I have just begun, there is a fitness completion before you begin to test where you are at on the fitness spectrum. You are also supposed to take 6 before photos and then the same photos after each month (I think). Anyway I wanted to show you all something I discovered by taking these photos. My lowest low of 2010 was in July (177lbs). I broke that low this year at 175lbs. Basically I hovered within the same 10lbs for over 7 months. That really sucks and I have been down about that over and over again. Pretty sad that I haven't had more progress than that.

In your before photos you are supposed to wear as little clothing as possible so you can track your results. So I busted out my green bikini that the BFF bought me last summer for my bday. I wore this bikini on our river trip last July (at my lowest). I wasn't exercising much last year. So I wanted to show you what a difference exercise really makes. It is a subtle difference but it's there. I think the biggest difference is in my arms and the spare tire around my boobage that has somewhat shrunk. Basically a little toning can go a long way. Hopefully in 90 days when I have completed my first round of P90X, my after picture will be that much more noticeable.

I felt like complete crap yesterday but I got home and pushed myself to do Day 2 of my workout which was the PlyoX and it was CRAZY! It was 58minutes long and I did the whole thing, no pausing. By the end of it my face was beet red and according to my HR monitor I was well into the 140's (good for me). I was exhausted but damn it felt great. I made my post-workout protein shake which leads me to this awesome recipe I tried and LOVED! I'm sure some of you have already done a similar version if not the same but this was so good I just had to share it.

In a blender:

1 cup of ice
8oz cold water (or milk if you want it thicker)
1 small banana (or 1/2 of a large banana)
1 tbsp of nut butter (I used chocolate almond, but you can easily use peanut, cashew, hazelnut, etc)
1 scoop of Pure Protein in chocolate (sure this would be good with vanilla as well)
Blend until smooth and Enjoy!

I swear it tasted just like a banana split or chocolate covered bananas! Heavenly!!! The total calorie count for the one I made last night is 280 calories of goodness. Great meal replacement for me.

Well that's it for today. I don't remember what workout I'm doing tonight but I'm ready!!! woo hoo!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

It kicked my arse!

Well I started P90X yesterday! FINALLY! I did the complete Day 1 (totals 65 minutes) and it was tough. I won't say it was impossible or TOO hard like I have heard some friends say but it is definitely a workout. I am glad! I loved it. I loved the way I felt doing it and I am super sore today and I love it! I ate well yesterday too. My current plan is a yogurt/nut/fruit breakfast, protein shake for lunch, protein bar for snack, protein shake post-workout and then a light dinner.

Today I had a small burger for lunch on wheat bread with tomato and pickles. I only ate 1/2 of the wheat bun because Lexi wasn't liking the bread so much today. No biggy. I'm watching carbs anyway. It was very yummy. So since I ate a regular lunch I will probably just have a protein shake for dinner and maybe a small snack.

I am not feeling so great today. I am very fatigued and have a pretty slammin' headache (sinuses?) It sucks and I am hoping I don't kill myself in my workout tonight. UGH! I feel so a ton of bricks.

Oh and I went on Friday and got the Pure Protein shake powder and some Pure Brotein bars. The only option they had at the Target I went to was frosty chocolate and vanilla creme. I got the chocolate and it's not bad at all. It does have a tiny little aftertaste but for the most part it is nice and chocolatey. It doesn't have that awful protein-y taste to it like a bunch of other shakes I have tried. I also ordered the cookies n' cream flavor from amazon yesterday and I can't wait to try it. I have just been adding the powder to 8oz skim milk and using my shaker but I think it would be alot more yummy if I blended it with ice as suggested. I might try that tonight. Also I would like to try adding some almond butter and a banana to it. I heard that is delicious!

Well I am busy at work today and I have alot of posts to catch up on. So I will leave you with a picture. My friend from work brought me several pairs of her shorts that she can no longer wear and I tried them on at work. They are a tad bit....ahem....short but perfect for lounging at home or wearing to the beach or something. This pair is a size 10. I used to loathe shorts because I hated my thighs (still do a little) and I just felt massive in them. I am ready for my legs to slim down some more and then I will be more comfy in wearing shorts like this in public! Until then...they will remain around-the-house shorts...haha

Thursday, February 24, 2011

One Year Banded!

It seems crazy to me that it's already been a year since I had my surgery. Time really flies, doesn't it? It's kind of sad when I really think about things. I mean I have only lost like 30 pounds in that year. I thought I would be at my goal weight by Christmas last year and not even close. Then I thought ok, how about at least to my mini goal of 150lbs by my hubby's bday on March 18th? I don't see that happening. 25lbs in less than month? Pshhhh...don't think so. So how about by my birthday in June then? Seems attainable if I could stay on track for more than 5 days at a time.

I really don't know what's going on in my head. Why does food have such control over me? Why do I allow myself to binge and binge and binge again? (I realize that since being banded what I eat all day now on a binger would have only been one meal back in the day, but it still sucks). Some days I just feel like I should say "screw it, I am just going to stay at this weight. I don't care anymore" But I know I am only lying to myself because when I look in the mirror I want improvement. I am NOT happy with myself at this weight. I want to be thinner, healthier. I want to prove to myself that I can do it THIS time. And THIS time just never seems to happen. I seriously could just burst into tears right now.

I feel like when I need to improve the most (because of commitments I made, including a wedding in April and this new challenge) I am the least motivated to do it. When there's nothing important really going on is when I get on the ball for a bit. Why is that? Am I determined to fail or something? I want this so bad I can taste it but it's like it's still not enough. I must not WANT it enough or I would do it right?

I don't know. I have done well so far today but I just have that nagging feeling in the back of my stomach   head saying that today is still not the day that I will turn things around for myself. It's like I know that it's pointless because as soon as I get home I will devour 1 of everything in the kitchen and drink my DP that I have been avoiding for days now. The clock is ticking and every day that passes that I don't do this thing right and start exercising again is another day that I have lost that I could be getting fit. I can't imagine the horror I would experience if my SIL and I go to pick up our dresses and do the final fitting and I STILL can't zip that dress. I would just melt into a puddle on the floor and say go ahead and fry me up. I'm just a big fat ass pile of bacon....oink oink.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

New Spring Challenge

Hi everyone,

I just signed up for a new challenge. This will be my first official challenge that I have participated in for blogland. I am very excited. I think this will motivate me to stay on track more hard core. I REALLY like to win! If you are interested in the challenge check it out by clicking on the link below the picture:

My eating has been off track for over a week now. Yesterday was probably the worst binge ever. 9" spinach alfredo pizza, a cheese enchilada and beef taco, and a chocolate chip cookie???? WTF???

Well I did get my new protein powder in yesterday afternoon so I am starting those today and boy, do I hope it tastes good. If not, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I have gotta to hop back on this wagon. I dunno, like right now!!! I was supposed to start P90x on Monday but I did the fitness test for the program and didn't realize you aren't supposed to start the actual program on the same day as the fitness test because it's like a double workout. So I was then going to wait and start yesterday but decided I was just too sore from eating all of my wonderful food that I crammed down my throat last night. So today I am hoping my super hard core mentality of "just get the shit done!" will kick in and I can stay on track.

Here's to fingers crossed....

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Oh Bloody hell!

I am sorry Mr. Turtle!!! Geesh!

So I didn't stick to what I said I was going to eat yesterday. Instead I be-cowed (definition: turned into a cow) myself after work and decided I was going to take my chubby butt to Chilli's where I then proceeded to order spinach artichoke dip and tortilla chips AND chicken jalapeno quesadillas!!! Took it to I could basically stuff my face at home instead of in public! Then for "dessert" I ate 5 squares of Dove milk chocolate AFTER I had eaten ALL of the dip and like 25 chips and 3 of the 8 quesadilla wedges! What in the freaking hell was I thinking? Oh, wait! I wasn't thinking! 

And are you ready for the cherry on top??? After all that super-healthy food I just shoveled down my throat I laid on the couch and fell asleep within 20 minutes and slept for 5 hours therefore hindering any ability or "give a shit" to work out. So basically I just screwed myself yesterday. I swear I need to see a shrink. REALLY! And here I was posting merrily yesterday about how glad I was that I had finally overcome long-haul binges and that I could jump back on the "train" and shit. And then I go and do that? I seriously am disgusted in myself right now.

Especially knowing that I need to fit into a size 12 bridesmaid dress by the beginning of April for my sis-in-law's wedding. I tried on a 12 at David's Bridal and the dress zips up the side and I could zip it fine until it gets to my boob area thanks to my lovely little back roll that I have where my bra is. So I need to really kick ass and work out and eat right to lose inches at least to get into that dress. And here I am sabotaging myself like nanner-puss. DAMN!

here is the dress, BTW:

I also ordered a new protein shake yesterday. I was reading Meli's blog yesterday and she was saying how great her new shake tasted. So I ordered the BSN lean desserts in chocolate fudge pudding. If this does taste decent I will probably be trying several of the flavors. I am hoping the combination of getting P90X tomorrow and getting my protein shake in will boost me back in to "weightloss land". I don't know what's going on with me now. Struggles, struggles. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Belated-Happy Valentine's Day!

I so wanted to get on here yesterday and tell everyone Happy V-Day but I was busy at work and just ran out of time. I was very pleased when (for the first time in our relationship) I recieved a giant arrangement of a dozen red roses and purple blossom fillers at work from the hubby. I was sooo surprised. He has never sent me flowers before, only given them to me in person. He said he likes to see my face when he gives me gifts but I hinted to him months ago that I would like flowers every once in a while. :)

He is on nights and had to work yesterday so we didn't get to see each other. We celebrated on Sunday and it was nice even though it got cut short because he had to work. Oh well, ya gotta take the time you can get.

I wasn't very good yesterday as far as eating goes. I will admit the last couple of days I went a little haywire and ate crazy! I baked the hubby chocolate chip cookies with pink/red and white chocolate chips for V day on Sunday and I ended up eating quite a few of them. I told him that from now on I will only bake peanut butter cookies on special occasions because he loves them and I hate them and that will remove the temptation. I know, I know, stupid me for baking them in the first place. Ugh!

Then yesterday I went to eat Mexican food with the bestie and another good friend for dinner and said WTH and ate cheese enchiladas with refried beans and.....spanish rice. RICE? I know, I know. And that was AFTER chips, salsa, and some queso and jalapenos. And of course I had to dip into the hubby's box of chocolates I got him for V day too. (Can ya tell V day is no good for me?) I ate 2 of the almond cream chocolates. Dang!

Well don't worry, it was definitely a splurge food wise but I am not off track completely. I am hopping right back on the train today with no problem. In the past, my splurges have always triggered cravings and then the vicious cylce restarts but that hasn't been happening lately. I can be naughty and get back on track quick. I am glad for that. Today is gonna be a fairly clean eating day and I WILL work out tonight.

I have been wanting to get the P90X program. Everyone I know that has used it has raved about it and I think I could use some hard core training. I wanna sweat my ass off and burn tons of calories. So I am thinking about buying it. No one I know has finished it though. They all gave up because they said it's too difficult to stick with but I think I could do it. I have really become an exercise lover so I think it's P for possible!

Today's menu:

Breakfast: 1 cup of plain greek yogurt, 3/4c Kashi crunch cereal, 8 red grapes, and 2 tbsp of slivered almonds
Snack: hot green tea with french vanilla coffemate powder
Lunch: sliced pork and italian style green beans
Snack: 1 light string cheese and 4 strawberries
Dinner: egg white omelet and grilled asparagus

That's all I have for today sugar plums...until next time.

Friday, February 11, 2011

BYOC and lowest low!

1. What day of the week do you love and what day of the week do you hate?

I love Saturday because I wake up knowing I don't have to go to work for 2 more days. I hate Monday because the weekend is over and I am B for bored once again.

2. What is your middle name and is there a meaning behind it?

Mine is Rae. There is a story behind mom and Granny chose it after a character in a movie called Backstreet (1961). Susan Hayward's character was named Rae Smith and they always thought she was beautiful.

3. Since I’m dreaming of my next tattoo, I’m going to ask this one. Do you have any tattoos? How many? If you don’t have one – what would you get if you did have one?

Yes I have a total of 7. I have my upper and lower eyelid (eyeliner), a butterfly on my left side, a tribal rose on my lower back (trampstamp holla!), a rose and thorn on my right calf (signifies that every rose has its thorn), 3 three-leaf clovers on my right foot (Irish pride), 1 blue daisy on my left food (by my pinky toe and it's a best friend tattoo), and my newest is my gemini sign and a latin phrase "alter ipse amicus" meaning "a friend is another self" on the side of my left foot, also a best friend tattoo. And I'm sure it won't be the last!

4. On that same theme of dirty little secrets…how many piercings do you have? Any you wish you had?

I have 10 currently. 3 in each ear lobe, 1 in my left cartilage, 1 in my right tragus, my tongue, and my belly button. I used to have my nose pierced and I loved it but I kept getting in trouble at work for it so I finally took it out. I plan on getting that re-done one day.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your life in blog land and in real life.

Blog land: has been pretty good. I have been having some NSV's here and there and I have actually been keeping up on my reading, which is always good.

Real life: Has been pretty decent. I have been super busy and have alot of things happening at once but all in all it's good.

And now for my lowest low! I got to work out last night for my 30 minutes that I promised myself and I ate excellent yesterday! Very proud. So I decided to weigh in this morning just to see if cutting out my protein shakes and going semi-vegitarian made a difference the last couple of days and guess DID! I weighed in at 175.2lbs! My lowest before this was 176 and I have NEVER, EVER even last summer, made it past 176! I am super proud. I feel like I finally broke the barrier and have figured this out. Hopefully I'm not jumping the gun here but I hope this trend continues. Fingers crossed!

Have a super weekend. I am going bridesmaid dress shopping tomorrow for my sister-in-law's wedding in April. I am hoping by the wedding I will have lost another size! woo hoo!

That is all.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Catching too many z's???

Just thought I'd stop by and post what I am eating for today:

Breakfast: 1 cup of plain greek yogurt, 3/4cup Kashi crunch cereal, about 8 blueberries, 2 tbsp walnuts
Snack: 8oz Naked Green Goodness juice (yummy!)
Lunch: fresh spinach salad with 1/2 cup of chickpeas and 2 tbsp red french vinaigrette
Snack: 1 light string cheese and 2 slices of natural turkey breast
Dinner: 8oz of Naked protein drink, 4 oz of pure carrott juice, and 3 potato and cheese pierogies

Water: 112oz
Exercise: I intend on doing at least 30 minutes of fitness routine on the wii

I haven't worked out since Sunday. The hubby is on days this week because he is training for the Hazwoper and he hasn't been going to bed until like midnight. Usually he goes to bed by 8pm when he is on days and that allows me my time to exercise and have me time. So this is really throwing things off. I have been dealing with some extreme tiredness at night this entire week. I literally eat dinner and within 20 minutes of sitting on the couch I pass out for a 5-6 hour nap. I then wake up at like midnight and have to take a shower and go back to bed. It's CRAZY! It's screwing up my whole routine not to mention all the calories that are turning into fat as I lay there drooling right after dinner. I just feel blah. Energy-less. I did stop drinking my Click shakes so I am slowly weening myself off of caffeine and that probably doesn't help. But I have already told hubby that tonight he will have to entertain himself for my workout time.


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Dirty little secret...

Ok so everyone was asking what I used on my scars from surgery thanks to my lovely photos from yesterday. Did I use a miracle cream? Well I wish there was such thing but apparently there's not. I will be honest in saying that I didn't really use anything in particular religiously. Every once in a while I would rub a little Vitamin E oil on them and I always use lotion on my whole body after I shower. I recently purchased some Mederma which I probably used for one week and then stopped. I get lazy with my routine for stuff like that.

So now for the dirty little secret.....




ahhhh!!!! Yes, in a tanning bed. I don't know how many of your do this. I used to tan every year and then last year I decided I was too afraid of skin cancer to do it anymore and I basically became Casper-ella, the friendly freakin ghost girl. I decided about a month ago that I would start tanning again but not as often as I have in the past. I just want a little base tan and then I will maintain that by going a couple times per month. I have only tanned maybe 5 times in the last month and already my scars are almost unnoticeable. So yeah, you wanted to know what kind of magic I was using....there it is....a tan!

A little NSV or is it? I don't know. The hubby has been giving me all kinds of compliments lately about how great I have been looking. He has said in the last week and I quote:

"Well, your butt is getting smaller, more toned."
"I think you look better now than you ever have before"
"You are getting so small."

YAY! When the husband truly notices and isn't just saying so to make you feel good, that is great! I think this is the first time he has ever really stopped and looked at me hard and realized, well, holy shit, she really is changing!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Losing inches, no pounds~

I weighed in yesterday and the scale said 177.0lbs. I'm not gonna kill myself over it. At least I didn't gain. I ate fairly well all week. I did have a couple of high calorie meals like some veggie pizza, a little bit of Mexican food one day, etc. So I can understand it a little bit. But I exercised my ass off again last week and throughout the weekend. I can really see the inches leaving my body but the scale just hates me. I'm bout to just say "f" the frickin scale and just go by clothes from now on. Because it's like I'm supposed to be stuck in the 170's for my whole life! ugh!

I have been cleaning out my pictures on my computer at work and found all of my incision photos from the surgery. I wanted to post a early post op compared to today of my incisions and my stomach itself. Take a looky poo...don't mind my bra in the second one! haha Just wanted to show I still had a little cleavage now that I have officially downgraded to a 36B CUP!!!! AAHHHHHHH....the horror!!!!!

2 weeks post op (sooo swollen...ouch!!!)

Today...(my scars have faded well) Woo hoo!!

Next stop: Breast implants! haha

Friday, February 4, 2011

Happy Freezing Friday!

I just got done reading my comments that you all made on my post yesterday and I am crackin up laughing. I wasn't actually intending on wearing that outfit out at all. I always wear shorts at home because the heat is on and I was just trying on the top to see how it looked. I won't be able to wear that until probably summer time. Maybe by then it will be too big? (wink wink). So no worries. I didn't freeze my ass off.

The crawfish was really yummy last night. I was pleasantly surprised. Nice and spicy. Only bad part is down here we tend to dip the tails in melted butter or some sort of sauce. I had melted butter. Didn't use much of it but I ate about 2lbs of crawfish (equivalent to about 3oz of meat). Sounds like alot but when you throw away everything but the tail it doesn't amount to much. My friends can eat 5lbs or more by themselves. The first round this season were high quality but fairly small. When summer comes they will be alot bigger (more meat). For those of you who don't know what crawfish is, here is a picture of some boiled crawfish (usually served with spices and corn, potatoes, or mushrooms).

They are ugly little things, remind me of a miniature lobster (pinchers and all). The meat is in the tails. So you basically pick up a whole crawfish and pull the tail apart from the body and then crack the shell around the tail and pull the meat out and the tail meat looks like this in the bowl:

Sounds like a hideous process (and it is if you really think about it). If you get some good sized ones they have a little claw meat too. My friend actually cracks the chest sometimes and eats the lungs (looks like brown tissue paper and is flavorless!) GROSS I know! haha I just eat the tails. All the flavor comes from the boiling process and the spices used. Next time we go I plan on ordering mushrooms with mine and bringing my own butter. I didn't really care for their butter. It was far too thick and greasy like margarine.

Anyhoo...Now that I have given everyone a little Crawfish 101...what else can I say?
Oh, When I got home last night I rested a little and then did my circuit training for 75 minutes and burned about 1500 calories in my workout. I almost passed out by the end but it was great and I felt so accomplished.

One thing I have noticed though that's not so great is that since my unfill I feel nauseous alot. Pre-band I had nauseousness all the time. My doctor summed it up to being sinus drainage causing upset stomach/nausea. But it seems lately that every time I eat I just have that sick feeling and even when I don't eat it's there. When I had my unfill and told the doctor that I experienced stuck pain all the time she said that I should have my gallbladder checked out. I know that gallstones can make you feel sick alot. Well just add that to the pile of crap I have to deal with. Woo hoo. Not! I guess if it continues I will have to make a stupid appointment and go get that looked at. UGH!

Other than that, things are well. I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Crawfish and a new top

Well it's that time of year and our local crawfish shack is open for business for 3 days this week. This is the south after all and crawfish is a major thing down here. I have never been a big fan of just peeling and eating it but I do like it in gumbo and etoufee and cornbread! yum. So tonight I have agreed to go with my friends to the Shack and eat a couple of pounds of crawfish and some boiled shrimp. I will most like get the meaux spicy (the spiciest they serve) and the spice might kill the blandness of just the meat.

Also, my friend at work gave me a few of her tops that she doesn't wear anymore and I kinda like this one. I don't usually wear strapless because my girls like to run to my feet without a bra but I have some strapless bras now that do the trick. I am particularly proud of my collar bone in this picture.

We are in for a freeze tonight and tomorrow. Schools have shut down today and sent kids home and alot of the local businesses are closing too. We are supposed to get 3 inches of snow. The last time the weather got this cold all there were tons of wrecks in town because no one knows how to drive on ice here in the south! haha. I waited in traffic last year for 2 hours to get across a bridge that's like 2 minutes long! Man, I hope that doesn't happen again this year. My friend that I work with said that her dad told her he would take us to work tomorrow in the firetruck, sirens and all! haha Wouldn't that be an entrance???