Friday, April 30, 2010

50 Followers and BYOC Friday

I just made it a lil past 50 followers today! Yipee....thanks everyone who has taken interest in my blog. I appreciate you reading my thoughts, jokes, and whatnot and I hope my peeps continue to grow.

Now for BYOC:

1.What’s your favorite smell?

Oh I have many...but the tops are fresh clothes right out of the dryer, pumpkin pie spice, fresh strawberries, and tanning oil (you know the cocunuty ones) yum.....

2. What is your all-time favorite movie and why?

Gosh, I have soooo many fav movies. But one that I know better than the back of my hand (literally word for word) is Dirty Dancing. I watched that movie probably over 100 times in one year when I was younger and I have seen it several times since then. If it's on I will still watch it. In fact, Mary bought me a Dirty Dancing Calendar for Christmas and it is hanging on the wall here by desk at work. Every month is a different scene from the movie and a quote from the movie at the bottom. (see below) Yes, Draz, I agree Patrick was yummy....I can't believe he's gone now. Very sad.

3. What’s your trigger food?

That's easy....any carb! haha Bread, pasta, mexican rice, chips, etc etc etc.... and tons of it! I am with ya there Draz, we could be on the same football team! haha

4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two?

This is a hard one for me...because I am not good at all at consoling people or trying to make someone feel better. I find it very awkward when I try and end up not saying much at all in fear of saying the wrong thing. But if I had to say something I would probably say: I am here to listen. I am here if you need me.

5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week?

Hm.... Let's see I would say Carmen. Sharing about her issues with her boyfriend was brave. I have been having issues with the hubby all week so I could really relate to it.

Also, I weighed again this morning and I am just a sitting duck at 186.0lbs. I have been eating very well but it's not budging! WTH???? I hope and pray that when Mary and I join the gym on Monday it will help me. I have been eating a few carbs here and there but nothing like I used to so I guess that means I need to go super-bitch on myself and be strict about that. Today is my cheat day since I have been good for over a week. We had Taco Bell for lunch today (mexican pizza and a taco) yummy!!!! And then tonight we are going to Olive Garden and seeing A Nightmare on Elm Street afterwards. Hope it's not crappy. I hate remakes. Ah well we'll see. Have a good weekend all! ttfn

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Finger Monkey

Take your mind out of the gutter!....haha

So is it just me, or does everyone feel a lil bit guilty when they don't post something daily? I don't have anything clever to talk about and thought about not posting today but I just can't do it. Damn this addiction called blogging!!! hahaha since I had to post SOMETHING....I decided to post a cute animal of the day! A finger monkey, aka Pygmy Marmoset

Me! Enjoy! Toodles

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Ok. First off, I just wanted to say how super dooper excited I am about one lil thing...I weighed this morning (unofficial day) and I am at 185!!!!! This is the lowest I have been through this entire process! yipee! I got down to 186 a few weeks ago but it only lasted a day and went back up to 190. I was scared yesterday that it would do that again, but nope it went down a tad. yay for me!

Now, to the real reason for this post. As you can see from the title ^^^^I would like to talk about fish. I have always despised fish and go "blak" when I think about it or smell it. The only fish I have ever enjoyed is tuna. I eat that regularly with mayo/mustard and pickles. But as far as cooked fish I just don't know. Well I know how healthy and nutritious fish is and I would like to try to teach myself to eat it without vomiting during/after. I need some cooking tips for fish. Like what do you add to your fishies when you cook them to bring out flavor????? Also what is your favorite kind of fish???? I have always heard that mahi mahi and tilapia are not fishy fish. Is this true??? I have bought single wrapped tilapia a few times to try and end up letting them sit in my freezer until they expire and then they get to stink up my trash can! Any pointers would be greatly appreciated.

Ta ta! Oh...and BTW thanks for all the congrats I got from yesterday's post!

Monday, April 26, 2010

By George, I think I've got it!

Monday again, bluh bluh! I am super stoked right now for the simple fact that I actually have RESTRICTION!!!! Yay. I feel like it's been the first time since surgery that I have felt that. Since Friday was supposed to be a soft food day, Mary and I went to a BBQ place and got us baked potatos. Now, I know the carb factor is a negative but the potato was soft and the stuff on it was soft so it worked. :) hehe we are sitting there trying not to scarf it down (so used to eating fast) and we got about 1/3 done and I was full! Now usually I could have eaten that entire thing and still been hungry. So we saved the left overs for later. I ended up finishing mine Friday night, but guess what????? It took hours to finish it. I literally ate 1/3 of it and then ate the last 1/3 of it a couple hours later. So 3 different sittings it took because I felt full! This is a major accomplishment to me! Small but BIG, ya know?

Saturday, I ate good all day. protein bar for breakfast, chicken salad for lunch, and a steak and brussel sprouts for dinner. But then we went over to my Mom's that night and I didn't do so bad. She had 1/2 a loaf of jalapeno cheddar bread (my FAV) and I resisted tempation for a while but they made burgers that I didn't want so I got really hungry after hours of smelling food so I took a tiny bite of the bread. And then I took 4 more bites and put it up. At that point every time I passed the kitchen table I would tear off a piece and eat it as I walked away until finally there was only a small piece of bread left! :*( Bad me...bad, bad, bad. Oh well. I just continued drinking plenty of water. Then Sunday, I did really good. I ate a protein bar for breakfast and wasn't hungry all day. Finally around 3pm I realized I hadn't eaten since breakfast so I asked the hubby what he wanted for dinner and of course, he wanted Mexican food. So I thought, ok I can do this, I will just order one taco and some beans. Well the girl misunderstood me and gave me a cheese enchilada too with my taco and beans and I, being raised not to waste food, ate it all! :) It was less than I usually do and I didn't touch the chips and salsa but I still ate the damn cheese enchilada! dang! So later on, for dessert, I had 3 fig newton cookies. I love those things....And again I drank tons of water....and guess what??????

Today is weigh day and I am down to 186.0lbs!!!! Which means I lost 4 lbs since my fill on Wednesday. Pretty dang good considering my food choices weren't as good as they could have been! Yay!!! Now it's just a count down til we join the new gym in town this weekend.

Friday, April 23, 2010

BYOC...almost forgot!

Ok. I totally forgot about BYOC last Friday thanks to my super busy crap at work! Ugh. Thanks, Drazil for reminding me after all, I wouldn't wanna lose my Ho Bag Award! Okie dokie let's get crackin...

1.Name a career you would NOT want to do and tell why:

I wouldn't wanna be the person who scrapes up road kill. For one, I am a major animal lover and would probably have a nervous breakdown every time I had to do it. And for two, can you say eww???

2.What’s the best present you ever received for your birthday?

Well, my Granny and Paw Paw used to take me for a weekend get away to the Marriott Hotel every year for my birthday. I could order whatever I wanted from room service and order any movies I wanted on pay per view and then they would take me down to the pool and I would swim from the indoor pool to the outdoor pool and then jump in the jacuzzi. It was heaven. I really miss those days. Great gift!
3.What do you hide behind?
I think I hide behind the fact that out of all of my friends I am the only one married and settled down already. So I never needed to look super hot or stay healthy to find someone to be with because I already found my guy. I hide behind the fact that my husband has always said that he loves me just the way I am and I take comfort in that but at the same time it makes it easier to gain weight and get "fat" because he will always be there.
4. Where were you born?
Houston, TX
5. What blog spoke to you the most, stuck with you, had the most effect on you this week? Which comment may have affected you greatly?
I will say Mary, the BFF, yeah a little biased but I am soooo proud of her and what she has accomplished thus far. I know how "in shock" she is that she has lost over 30lbs and I couldn't be more proud of her. She is going to do it this time and I know it! :) congrats Mare!
Ok... then ttfn peeps. Have a great weekend.

Random food post

Thanks for the comments from yesterday's post ladies! Very sweet! And yes Mary and I are very lucky to have found each other and held on for dear life over the last 16 years. Very lucky! Oh..and we love ya too Drazil! :)

So I don't have any explosive news or cute pictures today, unfortunately. But I thought I would brag about my not cheating on the post fill diet. As for the day of the fill and yesterday I stuck strictly to liquids only and today is soft food and I have stuck to it with one tiny tiny cheat. The bank bought a bday cake for one of our co-workers and today at lunch after eating my chicken salad and 3 small dill pickles I had a sliver (no literally it was like barely one bite) of cake. I actually took tiny bites so that it would seem like I got a whole piece but I am not even going to count it, it was sooo small. I was very proud of myself. I am hoping this new found will power will stick for good .

Funny: I just found out that there is a tear in the shirt I am wearing behind the arm and my co-worker pointed it out. Hell, she probably thinks that my arms are too big for the shirt and  it ripped!!! haha actually I think I remember from a while back leaning against a nail that was protruding out somewhere and it ripped this shirt. I forgot all about it and now I have been walking around exposed! Good times!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

2nd Fill and childhood pics!

So I had my second fill yesterday. It went alot quicker than last time. Although it did freak me out a lil when they were taking my blood pressure and of course, I was chit chatting with the girl and she was like "oh my, are you on blood pressure meds? Cause your BP is high". I was like huh? Redo. This time I didn't talk and of course it went down to like 130/85. Better! Then she asked why I was back for another fill so soon. I'm thinking, I thought you come in when you are HUNGRY 24/7. Doesn't that mean you need a lil sumpin sumpin? She suggested that maybe my stoma pouch was stretched and that if it was then they probably wouldn't give me a fill at all. I shrieked in terror at the thought of no fill. I can keep doing this on my own. Duh! So long story...short(er) they did the barium swallow xray and my pouch was fine and they gave me only .5cc since last time I was sensitive to it. I now have a grand total of 5.8cc in good ol' Lexi (band name) and I am hoping this makes a difference. I was on liquids all day yesterday, today, and then tomorrow I can have softies and by Saturday I am back to normal and I plan on having a delicious STEAK!!!! oh yes, I can't wait! Miraculously I weighed 190.2 yesterday morning on my scale (naked) and then weighed at the docs and was still 190.2 (with clothes...hehe). So I weighed this morning and what do ya know, I was down to 188.2! hahaha WTH? Oh well water weight is still weight. I am happy with that for now. I just have to stick to the "no refined carbs" method this time. I am gonna try my damndest!

So as most of you know Mary and I are besties. We have been BFF since we were 8 years old and we met in 3rd grade. I wanted to share with you all, a picture from the good ol' days (hehe).
October 1994-It was Halloween and our costumes were homemade.
Little did my granny know, we were calling ourselves Hookers! haha
You can't tell very well but she has on a blue silky dress and red tights
And I have on daisy duke shorts and these metallic white tights.
We were da bomb!

This is me (about 4 or 5) See how tiny I was??? Those were the days!

Me again, fishing at a pond w/ my Gran and Paw (about 12 or 13...maybe)
I miss those skinny's funny at the time I felt fat. Now I look back and
would give anything to be that size again. Gosh!

Bring on the softies tomorrow!!!! yay!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bored to tears :*(

Hello All and Happy Tuesday to ya! WARNING***This is gonna be a long one***Ok So I got your comments on my dilemma, the thing is I get sooooo bored with eating when it's boring food. I know you are all rolling your eyes in frustration right now. Believe me I have read, studied, obsessed with the RIGHT way to eat for years. I can tell you how to perform any diet, any exercise, etc etc but putting it to use myself is el problemo! Yeah, see, when I eat foods that I don't really enjoy or find appealing because they are plain and boring I would rather just not eat. I have always been the all or nothing gal. I honestly am beginning to think I REALLY am a little OCD on some things, like how papers are arranged on my desk (they are always in the same spots) and I don't like things out of order. I have a specific routine for many things and if, for some reason, that routine gets out of order whether it be at work or at home I get very frustrated and feel as though I need to start over. (I know, OCD, right?) I am not psycho about it but I have actually realized that maybe I do have a lil issue. Well it's the same with eating and exercising. If I start my day with a protein shake (no morning appetite) and then supposed to have something healthy at lunch like chicken salad, then by lunch time I have done talked myself into going to taco bell instead because the chicken salad sounds B-O-R-I-N-G! So then I eat taco bell and feel that I have ruined my entire day and that I won't be able to try again until tomorrow!!!! So from that point I just eat whatever, however much I want and think "oh well, I will just try again tomorrow". I know what I am doing and that when I mess up I should just start again right after but I CAN'T. I feel like I have messed my body up for the day and that it only "magically" resets when I sleep at night. Why am I like this? Do you think I should see a therapist? Seriously! I am stuck!

As far as saving all of my calories for one meal, I know it's not how you are supposed to do it. But I have this mentality right now that as long as I try to stick to a pre op diet right now I can lose a few more pounds until I get to a fill that makes a difference. I know some of you told me to "let the band do it's job" but I can't because it's not doing its job yet and it's all up to me until it does. If I had will power I wouldn't have gotten banded so that's the problem. The only time I have gained some will power was during the pre op diet so I keep telling myself if I could just do that again I could lose more weight. I know I should be eating small meals and a couple of snacks. But I am soooo bored and lazy. When it comes to having to plan out several meals and snacks I just huff and puff and give up. I have been trying to cook dinner every night and just the thought of that makes me cringe so trying to prepare 3 meals and snacks is just too much of a hassle to me. (I know, I know, you wanna hang me up by my toes right about now) I know how damn lazy I sound but like so many of you have said, it is hard to change who you have always been and for me, I have always been an "eat at restaurants 90% of the time" kinda gal and I love my bad food. So the change is devastating to me as much as I want to be healthy and fit and improve myself and my confidence, part of me makes excuses to stay this way so I will have a reason to eat my favorite foods. Yup I need to see a shrink now. Ok I am done for now.

I found this super cool app on my i-phone and I thought I would share a few of the pics I made. It's really neato!
This is my Fancy pants being sketched

Me, in an antique frame. Actually that picture in the frame I took the other day in
memory of my Granny who passed away in February. The hand under the chin was her
signature pose and she was absolutely beautiful!(see below) God, I miss her.

Granny, I love you!

I am done for now. Fill tomorrow!!!! Thank goodness.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Death to Snooky!

So, guess what time it is, Tool Time? No not really. Today is weigh day and you can't see it...but I am wearing a frown that CAN'T turn upside down. As I figured the scale hates my guts and mocked me by moving UP instead of down. I know it's my own fault. Damn Mexican food! I don't know if you can quite imagine the look on my face as I stepped on that dreaded thing and saw the 90's again!!!!! Looked a little something like this:
Yeah my hair turned blue too. Crazy. And then I felt that knot in my stomach (oh that would be my heart falling out of my chest cavity in shear disappointment). Oh my goodness. I can't wait for the upcoming fill on Wednesday. I can't wait!!! I hope it does some good because the last fill did NOTHING! It lasted literally a day and then nothing. I can eat just as much as before, although I have been saving all of my calories for one main meal a day. The problem is that during that one main meal I end up consuming more than I would during 3 meals put together. I just CRAVE everything. Then I want snacks, snacks, and more snacks and it's like no one snack satisfies me. I want them all. A taste of everything. I am trying to keep it at bay but dang, it's really hard as most of you know first hand. I am just absolutely terified that I will gain back all of the weight I have lost so far. I told the hubby today that very thing and he reassures me I won't but then I always told myself I would never get to 200lbs and over that line I went. I am just scared that I could fail this thing and then everyone will know how weak I am and how little will power I have.

Come on Wednesday, get here fast!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Another face shot...gotta love me!

Hi peeps! Ok first off Thanks for the comments, as usual! Sandy Lee-No I didn't eat the whole tray of crawfish. In fact I actually probably ate only one or 2 tails. I don't really like crawfish plain dipped in butter like most people. I don't really eat it unless it is in a dish like etoufee or gumbo or something. But, funny thing, I do enjoy peeling them and I am very good at it and fast. So I will sit with a tray and gloves and peel all of them and then Mary and my hubby will share them. Less for them to peel and they love me for it! :) I know I am the greatest! Tessie- I am so jealous. I love Louisiana cuisine and you get to eat it all the time.

Now on to today. I, again, don't have much of anything to chat about. But as you can see by the title of this post^^^^ I have taken ANOTHER face shot today and thought I would post it. In fact, I like it soooo much that I am changing my profile pic, AGAIN! :) I know I know, I have too much time on my hands. So here it is:

Oh yeah and BTW! This is for Amy W. although she may not read this post, hahaha...I am also a big fan of Sunkist and guess what? I had my first one in over 2 months...YESTERDAY!!! And it was to die for! Ode, to the sweet citrusy nectar of Sunkist! I must control myself and have only one every now and then but it was a pleasure!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Per Request

Ok I am posting the following photo per Mary's request. She sent it to me and thought I should put it on my blog. Please note that it is from 2007 and my hair is no longer skunk black and poopy chocolate tie-dye. FYI. Anyhoo...she thinks it is a good pic (I think it's awful) but the funny part is that obviously we are peeling crawfish but her and I always use gloves and everyone makes fun of us. They say that the whole point is to be able to suck the juices off of your fingers while you eat crawfish and that gives it the flavor, but they aren't laughing so hard when those succulent juices get down in the cuts the crawfish make from their spiky bodies and they are running around screaming and fire is blowing out of their fingertips!!! haha people haha....anyway here it is Don't laugh too hard.

Ring Ring....Will Power you have a call on line one!

Hi Will Power, it's me, Jessica. Ya know, the girl you have run the hell away from? Yeah well I am calling cause I want you back.... RIGHT THIS INSTANT! Where did you go?????

(Will....Will Power come back???? (((cue dramatic soundtrack))) to be continued...)

Yeah that's how I feel people! Like poop and it's all because I have lost my will power. Seriously, I don't know where the hell it is. I just found it again after years without it and I have already lost it again. I don't know what to do. As I told Sandy Lee yesterday I decided the other day to go super low carb again and try to break the addiction AGAIN so I drank only protein shakes for breakfast and lunch yesterday and was going to have the stroganoff sans the rice and by the time I got home I was STARVING (as usual) and I took several bites of the stroganoff while finishing adding some final ingredients and then had that marvelous argument with know the one....
Me One: Ok. No Rice, Me, we are low/no carbing it for a while.
Me Two: But it's BROWN rice?
Me One: Yeah it is, but it's still a major carb! Have a carrott instead.
Me Two: But if we have no carbs all day then this one carb should be ok right?
Me One: I is BROWN rice after all. At least it's the better version of rice.
Me Two: PLEASE?????
Me One: OK!!!! Let's eat it.

Yeah so as you can see from the convo above, I ate the damn rice. Only 1/2 cup but guess what that 1/2 cup did???? It's like giving 1/2 line of cocaine to a drug addict....NO WAY, JOSE! I want MORE!!!!! So that in turn led to a small carb binge of a Kellog's chocolate chip fiber bar (which we all know is just sugar in a wordy wrapper!) and then carrotts and pickles dipped in ranch veggie dip, and then a few more bites of stroganoff, and then I thought about whipping up a piece of 3 cheese Texas Toast garlic bread (avoided it) and instead ate a cinnabon snack bar and then I wanted fruit before I went to bed so I cut up a peach and poured milk on it (peaches n' cream)!!! HOLY HELL!!!! And then washed all of this down with intermittent drinks of raspberry lemonade!!!! hahaha!!! Wow! Can I just shoot myself now? Take me outta muh mysery! Oh and I have no doubt that if I hadn't thrown away all of the chips in the house I would have eaten half a bag or maybe the whole damn thing. And the whole time I am eating all these things I am thinking "Yeah, way to go, dumbshit, way to go!"

Why is this sooo hard for me? I mean I read everyone's blogs and I feel like I am eating the worst out of everyone. Mary is even doing better than I am when it comes to giving into temptation. I am serious about losing this weight for good but how will I living in my head???? It just won't ever go away. I knew I would still have head hunger but I got rid of that during the pre op diet and now it's back full force and ruining everything. I weighed this morning and have gained back almost 2 pounds just from the last 2 days. I know weight fluctuates but it is soooo aggrivating, dang it!

I have a question, hopefully I haven't bored you all to death with my psycho ranting and you are still reading to answer this. If I am drinking the Atkins protein shakes and each shake has 15g protein then would it be better if I drank like 3 a day and then a regular meal too or what? Because as of right now, the protein shake only thing is killing me. I don't remember it being this hard on the pre-op diet. I mean my stomach just wretches and rolls and rumbles even right after I have drank it. I don't know. I am running out of hope. I know I can do this I just feel like I am burying myself in pity and sorrow..... boo hoo....sniff sniff

To top it off I keep having this dream that my fish have flopped out of their tank and are flopping around and dying and I can't catch them because they are so slippery. Weird huh? I have had this recurring dream for years. But lately I have it more often.

Well I will stop here...and let you all process my madness.
Ta ta for now.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot....haha I am glad ya'll like the micro mini piglet from yesterday. Yes they are super adorable. Drazil I don't have $2000 to buy you a mini pig but I guess I could go to the farm and steal a few. I am sure I could fit several in my sweater and get away with it they are so little and all. :)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just another day

Well I don't really have anything remotely interesting to say. So I decided to post a pic of the micro mini pig. Mary and some friends were talking about them a couple weeks ago and I have seen them before and think they are just adorable! Dog the Bounty Hunter has a mini piglet and he is just the cutest lil thing. He sleeps in one of those rubbermaid plastic carrying bins with blankets and Dog will call him and he just jumps right out and goes to the kitchen to find Dog and they feed him a bottle and he is soooo cute. Dog goes and hides and the piglet can find him anywhere by his scent. And he even uses a litterbox. They say pigs are smarter than dogs. How sweet!

I made stroganoff in the crockpot last night and am serving it over brown rice for dinner tonight. I hope it turns out yummy! I know this morning when I stirred it, it smelled delish.


Monday, April 12, 2010

Blah, blah, blah, and blah some more!

Hi all! Back from another short weekend. It was actually a pretty good weekend besides bickering with Ryan a few times. LAZY weekend. Friday night: me, Ryan and Mary all went over to our friends' house for a game night. We played Guesstures (hilarious, must try if you haven't) and Clue (Mary won, she sucks!) It was pretty fun just hanging out. Saturday: Ryan got up early and cleaned out my car and then started cleaning the house while I sat on the couch and watched in amazement. (Anyone else's husbands go on cleaning binges when they drink those Monster drinks??? Freaky) After all that we watched some stuff on the telly and then decided to go have Mexican food for dinner. It was really delish and then we went home and played super nintendo until 2 am!!!! That's right 2 am! We played super mario bros and got all the way to the last level and then I threw a fit because I died 17 times in one world and wanted to break the game in half, so we went to bed! hhaahahaaa I am very competitive and don't like to lose. (sore loser yes) Sunday: We slept in late and made a late breakfast of grits, scrambled eggs, ham, and cinnamon raisin toast! And while the hubby ate the whole plate plus extras (see below)  I stuck to like 3 bites of each and no toast. :) yay for me.

And then for the rest of the day we played more nintendo and then started watching Prison Break again. (We had just started season 3 like a month and a half ago and then stopped) Really good show! Mary bought all of the seasons and she wanted us to watch them and now we are hooked. Just add it to the pile of shows I watch now. Gosh I need to get out more! Get out and exercise more!

Did ya notice that today is weigh day and there was only a  .4 lb loss???? Man that sucks! My own fault though. Oh well one step at a time. I get another fill next week. Mary and I are going together cuz she is due for her first fill and I am due for the 2nd and the drive is like 45 minutes and it's a sucky one. So we are buddying up for this one! Hopefully I get some restriction this time. *fingers crossed*

Ugh it's grocery shopping day and I HATE, HATE grocery shopping but luckily I am buying a bunch of ingredient for a few different crockpot dinners ( I love my Hamilton Beach crockpot). Beef stroganoff and smothered pork chops and then at some point this week I plan on making the Squash spaghetti again.

Work is over now in T minus 5 minutes soooo adios for now amigos!

Friday, April 9, 2010

BYOC and the Ho Bag Award

Thanks everyone for answering my Just Curious post from yesterday. I was just making sure I wasn't the only one like literally showing up to work and thinking about how fast I can finish my job so that I can blog and read blogs! It has taken over my life. And to answer my own question I have been blogging like 3 hours at work and then sometimes at home I will get on my i-phone and read some more. I usually am caught up on a daily basis though, of course I only follow like 35 people right now so it's not too bad. I can't imagine having like 100+ like some of you do and having to keep up with them all and I pride myself on leaving a comment for everyone on every post, but I am sure I won't be able to do that as my following increases. I will try though. you can see ^ in my title, I am not in the best of moods. I kinda feel down today thanks to people with mega big mouths who can't keep their comments to themselves and their nose out of people's business especially when they have no idea or knowlege of the lap band or how it works, etc,etc,etc. UGH Oh well life goes on.

Now finally for BYOC Edition 4:

1. If you could have lunch with a famous person who would it be and what would you order?

I guess it would be Kirstie Alley (haha) because she is CRAZY and FUNNY and we could discuss her old show Fat Actress and her new show that I have to see cuz I keep missing it and we would laugh and laugh and so forth. I would probably order a steak and maybe a salad because I think a steak sounds yum right now.

2. Where’s the furthest place you’ve traveled to?

That would be Missouri when we moved there for 6 months trying to follow our dreams of independence and go to college and instead ended up working in a factory (that made lawnmower hanger hooks). We only worked there for one day and never went back. haha LMAO Yup that was a 13 hour drive from Texas to MO. What a trip!

3.If you could describe yourself in 4 words – what would they be?

sensitive, loyal, complex, eccentric (poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric!-Dennis Hopper)

4. What’s one interesting thing about you we don’t know?

Hmm...this is a tough one. Well I don't know how interesting you would consider this but I was born to be a singer. I have dreamed of going to American Idol for years and every year that I don't I kick myself in the ass for not going. Music is my heart, really and I honestly think the happiest I am is when I sing. I LOVE IT. What a high! (Don't worry I really can sing, not one of those crazy people on the show that show up with an elephant or an alien suit and sing like a cat that just got neutered) Maybe I will do a vlog one day of me singing and ya'll can let me know what ya think.

5. Finally – whose blog spoke to you, stuck with you, stayed in your mind, resonated with you – this week – and why?

I would have to say Sandy Lee on her post about her father. It hit close to home because I just lost my Granny in February and it was touching to hear her story. Also Jenny,Drazil, and Joey for sharing some hard memories from their childhood. This has been an emotional week for some of us huh? Wow...well kudos for being strong.

And now, as Drazil promised I am accepting my Ho Bag Award for answering her BYOC questions! :) yay! Thanks Mama Pimp!

And finally to my BFF, Mary, you are very welcome for helping you trim that forest on your face you call you eyebrows! haha j/k I am glad you like them. Your breakfast pie was totally yum as usual! :P

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Just out of Curiosity...yeah it's a question for everyone!

I hate to make double posting a daily habit (haha) but I am just curious.....

How long do you blog each day (including new posts and commenting on others posts)????????

EACH DAY! Like how many minutes/hours a day to you all blog?


Yes, curious....

Thanks in advance for answering!

Dream a little Dream...of Clothes???

Hi people! Happy Thursday....So I decided to stop whining and complaining about people. Stay positive, Jess, positive I say!

First off, I would like to tell you about my glorious dream I had last night (hopefully it's more like a premonition of the future! yup!) Well it was really long but I only remember bits and pieces (every since we moved in this place my dreams seem to last hours, it's weird). sum it up I am walking around in this kick ass clothing store and the cutest things are surrounding me. One of those places where if ya could you would buy 2 of everything. Metallic like skirts and halter tops of all colors..pinks, purples, blues! So pretty. Ever seen the movie Romy and Michele's High School Reunion? (see below) Well yeah like that!
All I know is that I was shopping like crazy trying on tops and jeans and I was like a size 6 and was super blammin hott and it was great! Is this dream a glimpse of what my future holds for me? I hope so......                                                           And these are the days of our lives (cue soap opera music)
Now back to reality. So I don't have to much to chit chat about but yesterday made 6 weeks post op for me so here is my incision progress:


Also, I decided to put of a few pre-band face shots and one from today as a comparison and I am too lazy right now to do a side by side in paint soooo sorry you will just have to scroll up and down and up and down to see the difference. And I will post some full body side by sides soon. I know the face doesn't show much! :)
I hate my hair up, it always makes my round cheeks even rounder

This one is kinda fuzzy, sorry I took a picture of a picture!

 I took this at my desk this morning. I was actually very surprised at the thinning
of my face. I have always been hesitant to smile showing teeth because of the
whole chipmunk effect thanks to my naturally plump cheeks. But there's finally
some definition in the cheek area now! How exciting! Now it's just time to
work on the double chin! (exhibit B: Face shot # 2 above) EEEK!!!! And
yes the double chin still exists. Why isn't it in this photo you say? Well
that's because Jessica has mastered the art of anti-double-chin illusions. hehe

That's all folks!!!!! :)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater!

Well this is just a short post to show off my lovely award from Carmen aka I'm with the Band! I kinda feel like this is cheating a bit cuz she didn't really name anyone but gave it to everyone who has commented on her blog! He he....but I need another award, my one and only is getting lonely people!!!! I need some awards! I am fun, sweet, enjoy long walks on the beach and am award material, just lettin ya know for future reference. So here it is!

The Rules for this award:

1. When you have received this award you must thank the person that awarded you the award in a new post.

Thanks Carmen! I really enjoy reading your blog and you are amusing to boot! :)

2. Name 10 things that make you happy.

1. Seeing the weight on the scale go down

2. Eating yummy food
3. Good music

4. When my hubby is sweet to me

5. The weekend

6. Friends

7. Hot shower
8. Good show/movie to watch
9. Yummy food (can ya tell I am an addict?)
10. Getting new clothes that look decent!

3. Pass this award on to 10 bloggers & inform them

Yeah I am with you Carmen, I don't like this part plus I feel there is more than 10 of my peeps that could use the award so I will do the same! If you commented on my blog before feel free to accept this award as a token of my appreciation for your support/care/suggestion/etc! Have a super good day!

Irk me? Sure, why not!

I have decided to devise a list of things that irk me. Things that probably wouldn't irk most people and I am trying to decide if I have some kind of mental problem or if I am just a mega-bitch. You tell me. (sigh)

1. The annoying sound of the teller sorting her mail near my desk. I can hear each piece of mail brush the table as they seperate the different kinds of deposits and stuff. IRK!
2. People constantly using the back office bathroom just because it's in a vault! Look people, use the big bathroom! Got news, your poopy is no secret seeing as you just locked yourself in a 3x3 room and took a number 2 and there's a line out of the door waiting for you to come out!!!! No secret you stink!
3. People who constantly ask me "Is it Friday yet?" all week long, all year long. No it's not Friday and here's a tip for ya, if you hate your job that much, get a new one!
4. My peach fuzz on my stomach has gotten darker since surgery so either I am turning into a he-she or I am the new Casper the friendly freakin ghost???
5. Jaw popping gum! No not smacking but popping like some people can chew gum and they make it pop while in their mouth on their teeth! Nails on a chalkboard to my ears! Stop that shit!
6. When someone you work with is on vacation or out sick and everyone and their momma keeps asking YOU if you have heard from them and how they are doing like you keep a journal of their every move! WTH? I don't live with em' people! Quit asking! Or better yet, here's the phone number figure it out!
7. When taco bell goes down totally smooth and I feel like I gained 10lbs in a day.
8. When my toenail polish flakes off of 3 different toes. I hate painting my toenails!
9. When the same damn people ask me every other day, "So how much have you lost?" seriously??? Ya just asked me that yesterday! Do ya think I will melt away overnight chicken head? (that was mean, but damn it IRKS me)
10. And FINALLY, driving! If I had a bazooka I would blow people away on the road away (does that sound dirty? hmm). I say all the time I need my own highway named after me that only I can drive on and the world would be a better place! :) that that lil brainstorm is over with. I would like to introduce you all to the yummiest snack ever! I don't really have a sweet tooth but boy, is this good! It's like cheating but not! And nut caramel roll (not pictured) taste just like a snickers bar! No lie! YUM...And I have no problem getting this down.

So get this! For those of you who don't know, I just recently moved into a new home a couple of weeks ago. Before hand Ryan and I bought some nice curtains to hang in some of the rooms and I picked up a few small blinds for like the front door window and the 3 kitchen windows. Hubby was like "yeah I'll hang them, no problem". Well that was, uh mm, 2 weeks ago. Meanwhile the sunlight is pouring into the exposed windows and making the place hot as hell. (Texas weather) So I decide yesterday, me being a handywoman and all, to hang the door blinds myself. And guess what? I did it! Ha ha! And I laughed at the hubby when he started inspecting them trying to find a flaw (you know cuz only men can do those things, yeah right?) and couldn't! ahahahaaaaaaaaa yes,yes, yes for Jess! I am proud, yes I am.

Just call me Mrs. Fix it the handy-woman! haha j/k it was no big deal I just thought it was funny. Bless you if you are still reading! I will spare you the rest of your day! :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Intense thoughts...Part Deaux...oh! and Yummy Spaghetti Squash

Well first off thanks for the comments to yesterday's post everyone! Yes that is a good topic in my eyes because it just goes to show how often we judge and don't even realize it or have been judged by others for doing something good for ourselves. And I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of that too. I still remember in high school when the BFF wanted the gastric bypass and was in the early stages of getting things started and I cried to her over it. I told her I didn't want her to do it and I was completely positive that she was being a lazy bum by trying to do it. Back then, I was overweight too (probably 160ish) but she was in the 200's and had been for a while. I think really I was more worried that she was going to change as a person because I never really knew her thin (still don't, but she is on her way, Go MaRE!) What would I do without my fluffy friend? But now that I am older and fluffier myself I get it! I get it and I feel crappy for being a crappy crap friend back then when she needed support. Obviously she wasn't approved for the surgery but still. I shoulda been like "yeah, kid, you can do this!" and instead I was selfish and like "No, lazy bones, just diet and exerise!"....words I have come to despise. When people say that to me it makes me wish I had laser eyes like the dude from X-men and I could just burn their lips off as the worlds roll out of their mouth....ouchy! Anyhoo....we are all in the weight loss boat together peeps! Let's enjoy the ride and hope there's no sea sickness along the way....right? RIGHT!!!

Yay now onto yummins! Mary had a bright idea to try and make the Spaghetti that Amy W. shared in one of her posts not long ago. So she bought the stuff and rolled over to mi casa last night and we made it. I can honestly say how interesting it was to watch the BF scrape the squash with a fork and see it look like yellow spaghetti! Too neat!!!! We felt special! :) It was very simple to make and very tasty! The hubby came home and I told him that it was squash and he was like (cue country accent) "no, I ain't eatin' no squash. I hate squash" but of course I made him try it anyway and he really like it and ate a huge plate of it and wanted more, but I wouldn't let him cause I brought the left overs for our lunch today. Pictures below.
Here's Mary scrapin the squash..see the noodle effect? Neato.

Me, stirring the meat and sauce and cheese

Voila! The masterpiece is finished! Yum!
(Yes that is really at my house, not from a magazine!haha)

Anyhoo...Thanks Amy W. for the super yum recipe and have a good day everyone!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Pondering....deep thoughts

Ok. So am I lame for thinking that maybe some people think I am silly for blogging about my so-called "weight loss journey"? I realize most people who stumble upon my blog and read a bit realize that I am on this whole lap band weight loss trip and are all interested and what not and then they discover that I had under 100 pounds to lose from the get go and kinda think WTH? How dare she call herself a big girl in a big world when her highest weight was like 206! And how did she even get the LAP BAND??? I mean I kinda get that out here in reality a.k.a my life outside of blogland so I am wondering do some of you think that too??? I think that sometimes people don't take someone who needs to lose less weight as seriously as someone who needs to lose more weight. Ya know, like people who have more to lose than me get pissed off that I call myself fat/big just because they weight more than me. Like basically if I weighed more then people wouldn't look at me crazy or read my blog and roll their eyes like "oh ga, you think you're big? Look at me! Stupid Bitch" And I kinda get that because I have done it before when some of my friends who are bean pole thin are calling themselves fat or saying they need to lose weight. I am thinking "are you kidding me? You weigh like 115 and you think you look fat? What the hell am I then, a whale????" But in my case I AM NOT SKINNY!!!! I hate to break it to the world but being 75 lbs overweight is not THIN. My husband Ryan says stuff like that to me and I get hotter than Georgia asphalt (hmm..not in a good way!) He thinks I should have never gotten banded because I just "wasn't big enough"! Well, guess what peeps, if I wasn't big enough they wouldn't have done the surgery on me. Most people don't realize you only have to be 40lbs overweight to get banded when using the cash option. I dunno it just royally ticks me off that some people are sooo bitchy just because I need to lose 50lbs instead of 200. The way I see it is this, I can see if I needed to lose 10 or 20 and people were ready to smack me but seriously?? If I am in the morbidly obese category, BMI wise, then leave it alone! I am big enough to bitch about my weight and I have enough to lose to have a journey out of it! It's not like I am gonna lose it all in 2 weeks and write deep inspiring thoughts and on the day of goal be like "wow that was the longest 2 week journey ever!!!!" GEEZ!!!

I don't know why I just wrote all that but I am done whining. I was having serious issues yesterday with thoughts of doom and self destruction, etc. I just got a fill on Friday and already can pretty much eat anything and tons of it. No problem, no PB'ing, no nothing. I haven't been eating everything in sight, but I know I can. I can feel that stuff is slipping through the band pretty easily again! I guess I really will have to get frequent fills cuz this won't cut it. It's weird too because it's almost like I wanna test it out and eat food to see what will happen and then when nothing happens I want to punish Lexi (my band) for not doing what I think she is supposed to so I eat more and more and more and I am like take that, Lexi, you lazy bum! Rather ridiculous this vicious cyle, huh? Well you all know how it is I don't have to explain it much. But DANG! The carb devil wants my soul for sure! Yet somehow I managed to lose 3 lbs since Friday. So that's good, even though I ate tuna and parmesean garlic pita chips last night after my doc specifically instructed me to stop eating dang carbs! No bread, pasta, or rice says the after-fill instructions??? Not for me! I ate pasta salad yesterday for Easter lunch and good ol' southern potato salad, and a piece of ham. geesh...I just don't know what I am going to do with myself. I have done ok today though, I just hope it lasts.

Friday, April 2, 2010

First Fill!

Hola people! Well I don't have much time to chit chat but I wanted to post about my first fill experience today. I went and found out that the doc actually put in 4.8cc during surgery!!!! Crazy huh? Who knew? So they did the barium swallow to see how my restriction was...and the NP was like "oh yeah you definitely need a fill!" The nasty chalky liquid just flew through the band! So I laid on the table and she showed me where my port was...I thought it was somewhere else (scar tissue) and then she stuck the needle in. I felt nothing! She started with 1cc and did another barium swallow and unfortunately nothing was getting through the she took a lil bit out and I did another swallow test and still too full! Dang! So finally she went down to .5cc and that still was a lil iffy and she said that I obviously am very sensitive to the fills because my stomach was already irritated and swollen. Sooo they sent me out into the hall to sip on water for 10 min and then brought me back and did one more swallow test and BAM booM YEAH that was that. She took the needle out and sent me on my way. I then saw the good ol' doc for my followup and all was well. He commented that my hernia that he repaired was very large and he actually had to do stitches on both sides of the diaphragm which is rather uncommon so he said. He said I was probably born with it! Who knew? I must do 2 days of liquids and 1 day of soft food before going back to normal! Dang...cuz I am HUNGRY! All I ate today was 1 cup of hot green tea, an Atkins shake, and a Lipton instant soup broth thingy and water and I can feel my stomach has turned cannibal on itself! Rumble Rumble Rumble! But I think this fill will work for a bit. They said I might need to come back for another every 2-3 weeks and that I will just have to get small fills each time since I am so sensitive to it!

That's plus is my BFF Mary is going to Olive Garden tonight and she is going to bring me back some Zuppa toscana to sip on! YUMMY! :)

Hope everyone has a very happy Easter Weekend! tata for now