As far as saving all of my calories for one meal, I know it's not how you are supposed to do it. But I have this mentality right now that as long as I try to stick to a pre op diet right now I can lose a few more pounds until I get to a fill that makes a difference. I know some of you told me to "let the band do it's job" but I can't because it's not doing its job yet and it's all up to me until it does. If I had will power I wouldn't have gotten banded so that's the problem. The only time I have gained some will power was during the pre op diet so I keep telling myself if I could just do that again I could lose more weight. I know I should be eating small meals and a couple of snacks. But I am soooo bored and lazy. When it comes to having to plan out several meals and snacks I just huff and puff and give up. I have been trying to cook dinner every night and just the thought of that makes me cringe so trying to prepare 3 meals and snacks is just too much of a hassle to me. (I know, I know, you wanna hang me up by my toes right about now) I know how damn lazy I sound but like so many of you have said, it is hard to change who you have always been and for me, I have always been an "eat at restaurants 90% of the time" kinda gal and I love my bad food. So the change is devastating to me as much as I want to be healthy and fit and improve myself and my confidence, part of me makes excuses to stay this way so I will have a reason to eat my favorite foods. Yup I need to see a shrink now. Ok I am done for now.
I found this super cool app on my i-phone and I thought I would share a few of the pics I made. It's really neato!
This is my Fancy pants being sketched
Me, in an antique frame. Actually that picture in the frame I took the other day in
memory of my Granny who passed away in February. The hand under the chin was her
signature pose and she was absolutely beautiful!(see below) God, I miss her.
Granny, I love you!
I am done for now. Fill tomorrow!!!! Thank goodness.