Yes, I am back!

Wow, Ok. I don't even know how long it has been. Something told me to log in today for the first time in ages and seeing all my old peeps still hanging strong out here really brought me back to the blogging days and how it helped keep me stay on track (for a while). I think I will ring back in for now. I will say this....I have totally back-tracked on my weight loss. WAY BACK TRACKED!!!! As in gained ALL my weight back plus a few pounds. Very embarrassing (shoot me now). I literally just completely gave up and ate myself into a marshallow-covered-in-chicken-wire oblivion. I was having all kinds of troubles with my band, got sick of getting stuck on EVERYTHING, was in the process of getting it removed until they slapped me with a quote of $5000 for the removal and I was like ummm....no! So I had a complete unfill about 5 or 6 months ago and everything has been peach pie since (no more stuck! thank God!). And no, the unfill did not cause the weight gain. I have been back at square one since way before the unfill and it SUCKS royal ass.

Just a quick break down of my life lately. I started talking to my father again last year after about 13 years of no contact with him and he passed away this May with cancer. Very sudden and very awful. I have accepted it and am just grateful that I got to know him for a year before he was gone. I believe it was meant to be that I just decided to write him a letter one day and things went from there otherwise the opportunity would have been loss. At least now I have that memory of him.

My husband and I have been working on buying our first home since March of this year. PAIN IN THE BU-DONK! We have jumped through a gazillion hoops and now have a bid in on a wonderful brick home and (fingers crossed) God willing we will get in it.

Work is the same...I am still at the bank...still pulling my freakin hair out. Still letting food be my bestest friend (will I ever learn), still a food addict (it's a disease I tell you!!!) and still crazy. Yes all of those things. It's very frustrating and whatnot and blah blah blah. I'll spare you the complete sob story.

I was just looking at this new blogger layout and saw that my blog had been viewed 18 times today. The most popular post for today was one which involved a photo of me in a bikini last year and me talking about how my boobs were flattened because it was made for a kid. (HA!!!) If only I could go back to that day, kick myself in the arse and say "WAKE UP! You are rockin' this" maybe I wouldn't have tiptoed backwards. Hell, wait, tiptoed? More like sprinted! GEEZ!

Anyway...conveniently enough I have jump started my journey today to lose the weight....once again...for the millionth time...again!!!! Meanwhile, I have gone to pee about 7 times today because I have drank 4 bottles of water since I got to work. No biggy, you say? Well it is a big deal when  you consider the fact that I haven't drank a full bottle of water in one day in months. Yes I became a coca cola whore and a sweet tea addict (possibly contributing to 50% of my weight gain). I have also stuck every carb known to man in my mouth on a daily basis. Complete lack of give-a-crap on my part. You know at least last year when I was blogging I may have been back and forth on my weight loss journey but I always came back regularly....I would try and then not and try and then not. But this time around I completely STOPPED. Fully haulted all weight loss efforts and didn't care anymore and now I have fat in places I have never had fat before....more hail damage than ever before....OMG! No lie! It's literally scary to see myself naked. (sighs. hangs head in shame). I see these pictures from last year and could just barf! I thought I had soooo much more to go last year and boy, I didn't know what the hell I was thinking.

But anyway enough pity! I just wanted to say hello to everyone and say that I am back....if anyone has read this whole thing...thank you for hanging in there! haha


Until next time.