So, I am going to get a fill today. Probably a fairly small one since I am already at 7.5cc in my 10cc band. I haven't been for a fill in a couple of months so it's due time I think. I am hoping this is the boost I need to get off of this plateau I have been on for months.
I feel like I haven't made even close to the progress I thought I would have 6 months post-op. But it's my own fault for not changing and sticking to it. I didn't realize just how bad my head hunger and food addiction really is until now. It's like crack to me. I wish I was stronger mentally. Some of you have minds like a bull. You just say it and you do it. I, on the other hand, just go back and forth, back and forth. Constant cycle. Binge eating. Losing and gaining.What else?
I keep thinking what is gonna happen when I am filled to max capacity in my band and still haven't hit the sweet spot???? I doubt I should be able to eat a huge slice of lasagna (over 1 cup by itself) and 2...not 1, but 2 garlic cheese toast and have NO problem at 7.5cc's. I am seriously concerned that I have possibly stretched out my pouch. Although some days it's hard to eat lots of foods but I just suffer through the pain and keep eating. Fortunately, I have been lucky enough not to PB every time. In fact that has only happened a handful of times in the last 6 months. I did, however, try to eat a bite of sausage and some potato salad at the benefit on Saturday and after the second bite I was STUCK. I knew it. My mouth started watering and I was holding back PBing so I went to the bathroom quickly (thank goodness there was a bathroom) and stood over the toilet dry heaving about 3 times praying for relief from that awful pain and finally on the fourth try, up it all came. Instant relief. So I didn't attempt to eat until dinner time and guess what I ate? Nachos! Delicious nachos with spicy queso, sour cream, black beans, and ground beef and it was to die for! And yes, that went down just fine. Of course! ha!
Anyhoo....enough rambling! I will post tomorrow for my 6 month bandiversary and we shall see how this fill goes. ***Fingers Crossed***