Not a lost cause after all!

Did ya see my new background? Did ya see my new ticker? Did ya see the number on the ticker??????? Yup that's right people. Somehow I managed to lose 8lbs since Friday!!!! I'm sure it's water weight but I don't give a crap! Weight is weight! YEAH!!!!!! I am FINALLY back in the 170's (it's been months since I've seen them) and I plan on staying in them in a downward trend this time! Woo hoo!

Food wise: I have basically been eating pre-op diet since Friday. And it still works just as well as it did when I lost my first 13lbs before I got banded. I am having no problems sticking to it right now. My head is in "the zone"....finally. So I figured I would post a few days of my menu and see what you all think. Constructive criticism anyone????

Friday menu:

Breakfast: Click vanilla latte protein shake
Lunch: Click shake
Dinner: 3 oz grilled chicken breast, 2 grilled asparagus spears, and 1/3 of a dinner salad with lettuce, shredded cheese, and tomato (croutons removed) with tiny bit of ranch dressing.
Water: 128 oz
Lost: 5.6lbs

Saturday menu:

Breakfast: Click shake
Lunch: 3 chicken fajita strips, 3 beef fajita strips with sour cream and a few bites of refried beans.
Dinner: Click shake
Snack: 1 Keystone Light beer (yuk!)
Snack: 1/2 wedge of Laughing cow french onion cheese (just needed a tiny little something in my stomach)
Water: 120oz
Lost: 2.2lbs

Sunday menu:
Breakfast: Click shake
Lunch: Click shake
Dinner: 3 tbsp scrambled eggs, 1 low fat jimmy dean sausage patti, 1/2 strip of bacon, and romaine lettuce with 2 tsp peppercorn ranch dressing. (See picture below)
I didn't eat it all but I have a feeling this particular meal had too much fat because even though it was low carb I didn't lose at all. The scale stayed at 179.4 as of this morning. So I need to watch carbs AND fat.
Snack: Two tsps of pumpkin pie with no crust (just for a taste)
Water: 80oz

Today's menu:

Breakfast: Click shake
Lunch: Click Shake
Snack: Honey greek yogurt with 1 tbsp slivered almonds
Dinner: Roast beef and a romaine salad with tomato, shredded cheese, and peppercorn ranch dressing (2 tsp)
Water: 96oz


So far so good. I just hope that my weight doesn't stall here since I had such a big loss in just a few days. When I did this before the band my weight loss was steady for the entire 2 weeks and I am hoping that it's the same now. We'll see!!!!

Sweet vanilla heaven!

I just have to say that I got my Click protein powder in and it is DIVINE! Like I said before, I hate coffee but I would prefer it over the other nasty ass protein drinks I have choked down. This stuff really does taste like a latte or frappucinno at Starbucks! SUPER! Only thing is I don't drink alot of caffeine and this stuff is packed with it so I am basically bouncing off the walls. But I can honestly say that after about an hour of drinking it I had NO hunger at all. In fact, I usually eat lunch at 11am but I waited until 1pm for my second shake. I am feeling the hunger now and I am STARVING so tonight before we go bowling we are going to a steakhouse and I am going to get a nice steak and a salad. I am craving it!

Thanksgiving: Well I did better than I thought I would but mostly because after my first 2 bites I got stuck and had pain for like 20 minutes and had to get up and walk it off. I thought it was over and tried to eat again and after a few bites....WHAM pain again! So I actually lost 4oz as of this morning. CRAZY!

Sorry this is so short but I am working. Have a great weekend.

Was MIA but I am back now!

Sorry I haven't said anything in almost a week! I have been super busy and not at work either to post anything. I have been having to finish up my vacation days from work and we have to get them done before December 1st so it's been hectic trying to fit it all in.

I really appreciate all of your comments on my "Follow your Star" post. I was very surprised at the reactions I got on that dress! I just think it's so mediocre but you all said it looked good! haha That makes me feel good. Just goes to show things look so much different through other people's eyes. Oh and lmao@ Allan's comment. You are too funny! I did, however, buy another dress that afternoon. I like it alot better than the first one I showed you. It is a size 13 in juniors (I say more like a 10 in ladies) and strapless! I need to lose a few lbs for sure though before I even attempt to go out in public in it. It zips up the side and is very sleek but it's SKIN TIGHT. Looks pretty good but it won't do me any good to wear it if I pass out from suffocation in it. I will try to pour myself into it again and take a picture to show all of you. Hopefully my working hard will pay off and I will have a nicer picture in it by the time the banquet rolls around.

My sister's bday dinner was great. I got her a bottle of Tequila Rose (her fav) and some new colored contacts. She loved it. Of course the night took a different turn later on when we got into a knock down drag out bar fight while playing pool at a local scene. My sister started some beef with an older woman there and they started fighting and of course I had to get into the middle of it and throw some punches to defend my sister and that ended with cops and all sorts of drama. I am fine just a bruised nose and that's about it. Haha...I told my sister it was a hell of a birthday but wouldn't mind if that doesn't happen for another decade or so.

On the food trail: I have been on and off the wagon a few times since my last post. As we all know, these holidays are ass kicking when it comes to staying good on your eating plans. Every year on Thanksgiving we spend the morning and noon with the hubby's family and the afternoon and evening at my mother's house. Luckily the hubby's family lives right down the road from my mom so it's convenient but we basically have to have 2 meals!!!! So usually I eat lightly at his family's house and then eat FOR REAL at my mom's. I prefer her food because it's what I am used to. She and I use my granny's recipes and I loved my granny's cooking. Anyway every year my mom gives me my food duties and tells me what she wants me to make and bring every year. Well this year I am making homemade baked mac and cheese, bread pudding and sweet sauce, and grape salad. Fairly easy foods to make but I just dread it anyway. I hate the whole rig-a-mor-o of the holidays. It's too stressful. Having to be here and there and everywhere in one day??? I have to work Friday too so that SUCKS! The hubby is off Thursday through Sunday. I am happy for him though because he barely gets 1 day a week of rest. So this will be good for him. My goal for Thanksgiving is to enjoy a little bit of everything and to NOT take any leftovers no matter how hard my mom tries to make me. Even if she hurls a piping hot plate at my car for not taking it, I don't care! As soon as this is over it's major business. Down and dirty serious.

Damn, I am rambling again. Ok well I will stop here. Otherwise I will find some other crap to elaborate on. haha. Well I won't be able to post again until Friday so I hope everyone has a Happy Turkey Day!!!!!

Gobble, gobble.

Follow your star...

No, don't worry, this isn't going to be some sappy post about following my dreams! I just told myself that the first thing I saw on my desk would be part of my title and I have this little keepsake my boss gave me for Christmas last year and it says "Follow your star". So there ya have it. My long drawn out, totally pointless explanation of my title!

(Deep breath)

Anyway I figured I'd write a little something since I may not have time tomorrow. I am taking a 1/2 a day of vacation tomorrow so I will leaving work early and will be super busy. The bestie and I will be going to see the new Harry Potter at the theatre. (I don't give a shit how dorky it is, I LOVE me some Harry Potter!) And we plan on having an early dinner before the movie. We have already planned on going to this fairly expensive but very good seafood restaurant called Pappa's. She looked at the menu and I may try the trilled tilapia. I have NEVER ordered fish before at a restaurant but I am willing to try it once in hopes of finding that it's actually good.

We are also going shopping for a few things. Every year in December our bank has a Christmas banquet at a local restaurant called the Monument Inn. The food is absolutely delicous and the bank buys every employees meal and we have door prizes and dancing and raffles and so on and so forth. It is a semi-formal event and everyone usually wears slacks or cutesy dresses. The last couple of years we have been dressing up more than usual and this year we went dress shopping and I found this dress.

I'm really not that crazy about it. It was cheap and I like that but I don't think it flatter my HUGE arms at all. It's a "maybe" right now. If I find something better shopping tomorrow then YAY!

Anyway...I have done fairly well today as far as food goes. I am working on getting in my 8 lbs of water as suggested by a fellow blogger!

My menu for the day:

Breakfast: Hot chai tea and 1 splenda with french vanilla powder. Vanilla greek yogurt and 1 tbsp of slivered almonds
32oz water
Lunch: Minestrone soup
32oz water
Snack: Gourmet trail mix about 2-3 tbsp (has dried bananas, pineapple, peanuts, dates, cashews, pumpkin seeds, etc) A little high calorie but protein is good and it's fresh stuff.
16oz water
Dinner: Fajita nachos minus the chips (includes sour cream, tomato, guacamole) It's my sister's 19th bday and we are eating Mexican food to celebrate!

That's it folks.

CLICK PROTEIN????

Ok. I just gotta ask.. I have been seeing several of you ladies mention Click Protein and I have to know is this some kind of revolutionized protein powder/shake that actually tastes NOT like dog shit?????

Time to go buck wild on this shiznit

Ok. So I have spent all weekend in self-loathing basically sickened by myself and my lack of weight loss from my own stubborn unwillingness to do it! That's a mouthful. Anyway I have got to jump on this ghost bull and ride it for the full 8 seconds or it's never gonna happen. I don't know why it is so hard for me to get on the weight loss train and stay on it. Anyhoo enough metaphors....geesh.

Straight up, I HAVE to do this. No overthinking, just knowing that I have to do it.

I am sick and tired of looking at myself and seeing fat that should have been gone months ago.

I am sick and tired of eating my ass off and then hating myself for it.

I am sick and tired of being addicted to food.

I am sick and tired of caring so much, so often about what food I can devour next.

I am sick and tired of making excuses to not go to the gym when in all reality I don't go because I feel it's pointless after eating a million calories the same day.

I am sick and tired of not caring enough about myself to lose this weight.

I am sick and tired of seeing other bandsters who got banded the same month as me having lost double if not triple the weight I have.

I am sick and tired of seeing people at work lose weight without the band as if it's effortless and them constantly looking at me like "what are you waiting for?"

I am sick and tired of wishing instead of making it happen.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.


Well now that I got all of that out. I just have a tiny bit more to go. If you are still reading this far....thank you dear. I know you are bored to tears by now but this is mainly a venting post. Getting some deep seeded feelings out and about and hopefully will pave the path for me to get back on track...and stay on track.

I keep getting stuck on EVERYTHING lately. I think my allergies and sinuses and this cold weather has just done Lexi (band name) in and she is squeezing super tight lately. So I am going to stick to mushies for a while and see if that will help it out and maybe result in a few LBS lost too while I am at it. I am working on the whole calorie thing so we shall see!!!!

Menu today:

Breakfast: Hot green tea, fv coffemate powder, and 1 splenda. Blueberry greek yogurt and 1 tbsp of walnuts
Lunch: steamed broccoli and low fat cheese sauce pureed into a thick soup. (I didn't really care for this much. It reminded me of baby food.) I only took a few bites of this and trashed it. I happened to have a can of Progresso vegetable beef soup at my desk so I ate that instead.
Snack: Yoplait fruit smoothie (comes in a frozen bag with a ready mix of yogurt and fruits and you add 1 cup of skim milk)
Dinner: Tortilla soup minus the tortilla.

Plan on drinking about 5 bottles of water today too (80oz) Any more than that and I tend to hold onto it.
I want to hit the gym too.

Here we go!!!

Peek-a-boo!

Well I would just like to say I wasn't really expecting comments on my tiny test post from yesterday but you ladies never let me down. You're so durn sweet! Thanks for that!

So on the food front. I baked a caramel apple cake last night. Totally decadent at a whopping 280 calories a slice!!!! Fairly large slices so I cut them in half to lessen the calories. I brought half of the cake to work with me today to share with friends and left the other half at home to share with the hubby. I like to get rid of desserts quickly so I am no so tempted. I know you must be thinking "then why do you make the stuff in the first place???" Well I like to bake and I like sweets lately but it's funny when I cook or bake I am less likely to eat more than a couple of servings of it. I think I more enjoy seeing other people enjoy my food! haha

Also, a friend of mine had a house-warming party on Saturday at her new apartment and I baked mississippi mud brownie bars. They were absolutely delicious and I was sooooo proud that out of the whole batch I only ate ONE!!! See the marshmallows in them? YUM

I haven't been eating a whole lot or very often but it's WHAT I eat that just bites major donkey ass. I just care so much and then two seconds later I am like "screw it!" I guess I am supposed to be stuck in the 180's for LIFE!!! Every day it's different but it usually ends the same with me eating like crap and overloading on rich calorie laden foods.

On another "awww...note" my sis-in-law just bought a new baby chichi puppy for her little girl as an early Christmas present. He is 7 weeks old. She couldn't come up with a name so I told her she should name him Bruiser and they loved the idea and so that is it!

Isn't he precious???

Mary and Me Friday night at Applebees after my brother's last game of the season. It was his first Varsity game and we won 55 to 14. My brother kicked ass! If you look closeley we both have our new colored contacts in. Mary's are blue and mine are honey colored!

Tomorrow is a holiday at my job so I probably won't post unless I send something from my phone!

Have a happy holiday everyone.

This is a test to see if my mobile blogging is working. Nothing new really. I have been pretty down about not being able to stick to my diet plan or eat within my calorie range lately. But I will find my way out of the dark!

Just to say...

Well it's super late in the day. My co-worker friend is on vacation today and Monday which leaves me with both of our jobs and it's hectic as hell as it is. So I have just now gotten a moment to take a breath and write a little sumthin' sumthin'.

So what's going on in my life: Well let's see, I SUCK at sticking to anything I say I am going to do. That's one thing but then again that's been going on for a while now (11 years).

Just curious...have any of you been watching that show called "What's Eating Me?" or possibly "What's eating you?" on satellite/cable? It's about people with eating disorders and it's soooo very upsetting to me. Last night there was a woman who has been banded and has now gone from an overeater to a bulimic. She binges and purges like 10 times a day. How awful! And she is still very obese. It's crazy how obsessed you become. Sometimes I am surprised that I haven't traveled to those limits and become bulimic or anorexic. I never could bring myself to throw up. I tried when I was younger out of curiousity but it's very hard to make myself get sick. Of course this lady is using her lap band as her finger. Scary...I definitely have gotten the binging down though.

Why? Why does this shit have to be so difficult. I just can't wrap my mind around it. Feel free to send me a cyber-slap!

My brother is a freshman in high school and he just got put on the Varsity football team because he is that good! So I am going to his first varsity game tonight and am so excited for him! I am going to take pictures amap and I will post them on Monday.

Last night was my little sister's choir concert and I went to that and really enjoyed it. They sang all those corny songs they choose in school but I was still so proud of her. I find that even staying busy like I have been, I still somehow squeeze in crappy food or overeat and wham! no movement on the scale!

Anyhoo....I am outta here for now. Have a great weekend everyone!

My sweet little Fancy!

I just couldn't resist sharing with you some fall/Halloween photos I took of my baby chichi, Fancy. She is 4 years old and this year she was a ghost for Halloween. She hates dress up so I only put her clothes on her long enough to take some pics and then I strip her down! Haha. I added some frames to gussie them up. Prepare to say "Awwww" several times because she is cute as a button!

See the little ghost on her sweater? :)

When she lays on her back she gets sleepy! 

She liked her little scarecrow buddy.

In other news, I was BAD again last night. And yes I mean BAD! I went grocery shopping and I think I may have left my brain on the conveyor belt because I bought a rather large box of Russel Stovers fine chocolates (you know the ones filled with all different kinds of delicious things) and I ate 3 of them as soon as I got in the car. It was already 7pm and I was starving by then because I ate lunch at 11am. So that was my own fault for not eating a snack in between. Hell it's ALL my fault but that's life. I also bought chocolate chip cookie dough. I LOVE to bake things but I usually only eat 1 or 2 of them and give the rest away to friends at work and the hubby. Weird huh?

So for dinner last night I bought a frozen pizza to bake in the oven. I always get myself the super thin crust pizzas. I found this brand that specializes in original flavors and this one caught my eye because it had pepperoni and large chunks/slices of fresh mozarella cheese. It looked heavenly. So I baked it.....and ate HALF of it. It was a medium, but still! I think that's about 3 large slices. I had pain over and over while eating it. I have been getting stuck alot lately thanks to this rainy weather and my sinuses. Damn drainage!!! I just took my time though. Later I opened the box of chocolates again and I ate half of almost every piece. More of a taste tasting, if you will. I saved the rest for the hubby. I ate one of the chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven and it was divine. So needless to say I was AWFUL, just awful last night. But I am trying to iron out that kink by doing good today.

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: hot green tea, fv coffeemate powder, 1 splenda. Greek yogurt with honey and walnuts

Lunch: 1 packet of starkist tuna, 1 tbsp of hellman's mayo, and about 8 sea salt melba snack crackers

Snack: Honest Ade Pomegranate Blue organic juice. (YUM and I am trying to ween myself off of Dr. Peppers and I am already getting a caffeine w/d headache)

Dinner: pureed broccoli and cheese (basically soup but less calories) and baked buffalo wings (4)

Calories: 994 calories

No more candy every day, etc etc etc. I really need to buckle down on myself and do this thing!

Halloween photos:

Well as I promised I am posting some freaky photos from the haunted house we did on Friday and Saturday night. It was an absolute blast!!! And it was quite successful. We had a pretty decent crowd for our first go round for this fire dept. and a pretty good review. A friend of mine said they went to 3 different haunted houses on Saturday night and that ours was, by far, the best and most scary. I am very proud of that. And although I was absolutely terrible over the weekend with eating no real meals and only having candy, cupcakes and cookies and the worst of all, Dr. Pepper here and there throughout the days I still managed to lose 2 lbs. I guess I burned calories staying busy.

Duh dun dun:

Me as a creepy witch! I did this with a nifty little app. on my iphone!

Mary, Me, and Cayla on Friday night

Two guys that acted in the haunted house: The first one was an escapee from an insane asylum and the second was a mummy.

My friend Jessica and me. She was a kitty cat and I was supposed to be a dead seductress.

Here we are again on Saturday night: I went all out with my makeup that night and tried to look as dead as possible!!! haha

That's it for now!