Monday, March 15, 2010
Old Habits die Hard, Hard, Hard!
Soooo.....my boredom got the best of me. It all started Friday night when MARY (yes, blaming her hehe) had this great idea that if I am allowed mushies now that I could probably get away with eating a couple Jack in the Box tacos and just getting rid of the hard shell part and eating the mushy innards. When she first thought of this days before my initial reaction was "NO! I am not eating that, it's loaded with fat and calories!" hehe well needless to say I got over that and I got 2 tacos AND....a big AND 3 stuffed jalapeno peppers!!!!! I only planned on eating one of those and I did only eat one but still! The soft part of the tacos and the pepper went down just fine. No problems....I felt shame! Then....on Saturday night I was starving and I had no soup on hand and I was having issues with the hubby so I was kinda down and decided I would like another 2 tacos from Jack in the Crack. So we went there and I got the 2 tacos AGAIN AND...a big AND... potato wedges with cheese and bacon. So I ate the soft part of the tacos and 1/3 of the wedges and again it went fine. I did have a lil sick feeling an hour later but it lasted a very short time. And again Shame....
And now today, for lunch, Mary wanted to go to lunch at Jax again and they have the best steak fries in the world so what did I do???? I ordered the potato soup AND...there's that damn and again.....steak fries! I ended up eating all but 3 fries and half of my soup. That was honestly, a lil painful for about 20 minutes. But other than that, no stuck, no problem!!!!! And the reason I say old habits die hard is because upon doing all of this it isn't for hunger...it's for my head. I know I have restriction because I really can tell when I am actually hungry now. Which is a plus because before I confused my boredom for hunger. But now I know when my tummy is growling and I feel empty that I am hungry. So I happy for that. But I am getting brave with the band and I wish I wasn't. I keep testing it. I promised myself I wouldn't do that and really you couldn't have paid me to do that the first week!
I can't wait until Wednesday when I can start eating semi-normal again. My plan is to eat 6 days a week really well. High protein, low carb and then on day 6 or 7 I can treat myself to a small portion of 2 things I really really want that's not so healthy. Even my doc recommended that to keep yourself from feeling deprived of your fav foods. Also my hubby and I are moving into a new home and will have a stove. (we have a stove now but it's propane and I don't like it so I don't use it!) I will have more options to cook and try new recipes...how exciting....well I am babbling on and on and on....So thanks, if you are still reading.
I realize that my band is a tool. I know I am going to use it well soon, I just am getting so discouraged that my weight has not changed. I know some of you told me that you stalled in the beginning too and that it will pick up eventually and I know it will....it's just unsettling when you keep seeing the scale go up a pound and down 2 pounds and up 3 pounds and down 3 pounds. GRRRRR.....
Also, I took some before pictures in a bikini of mine. I will not post them until I have some AFTER pics! hehehe...so coming soon, hopefully.