Happy New Week people! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, beautiful daaaaay!!!! Why am I so chipper you say? Well, I'm not! I just thought I would try to sound chipper and obviously it's like poison rolling off my lips. I know I know, I am so "glass half empty" right now! I hate being so damn cantankerous all the time but crapola! What can I say??? That's me! Grrr...
So I am debating on whether or not to get another fill. I have been having the whole stuck pain after the first few bites of every meal and this morning I even had it when I drank my hot tea (highly unusual) and the weather is clear today so it's not the barometric pressure. But unfortunately this is not preventing me from eating anything and once the initial pain goes away I can eat, eat, eat, which is where the fill would come in because I know I shouldn't be able to do this but I am afraid of another fill for 2 reasons:
#1: I am already at 7.5cc's in a 10cc band and I feel like I am so close to 10 what if I get another fill and it doesn't work???? I am so afraid I will be topped off at 10 and still eating like this. Then what? I will have had this surgery for nothing and have inevitably been one of the poor souls who worked their way around the band and failed it!!!!!
#2: I fear even the slightest fill will be too much and I will be miserable and unable to eat anything and have to get an unfill eventually. I DO NOT want an unfill! I know it's common and happens all the time but I don't want to do it! But my biggest worry is the not being able to eat part. Because I already get soooo frustrated when I am soooo hungry and it hurts to eat. I could just cry sometimes.
So of course, my depression kicked in......and I was bad...AGAIN! Taco Bell bad! When ya'll have been stuck in the in-between like I am did you get a fill or ride it out????
I have got to do right. If I don't get to the 170's and I mean soon, I am going to lose it, as in, my mind!